I LOVE THIS LIFE

Time For A Change!!

2009-05-16T12:38:00.005-04:00

I will no longer be posting on this blog. I'm trying to set up a new blog that will reflect my personality and passions better!! It's a work in progress but ebaygal just doesn't fit me anymore.

Please continue to follow me:

Spunky Cowgirl

Katie's Love For RB

2009-05-08T15:40:00.006-04:00

Katie has developed a special bond with the horse, RB that she's ridden for several sessions at STAR. Yesterday when we got to STAR, we were in the waiting room but could see RB in the cross ties and he was throwing a little bit of a horsey temper tantrum. He was throwing his head and hoofing at the ground...

Don and I looked at each other a little worried. We'd never seen RB show any attitude. Katie didn't notice... she was wrapped up in books.

But, the minute Katie left the waiting area and headed toward RB, he lowered his head and then this is what happened.

Katie's instructor(s) at STAR are talking about the fact that she has the potential to be an accomplished horsewoman and rider.

They want her to ride a different horse next session because RB is very rough in his trot and Katie isn't too happy about that... she says that she doesn't mind bouncing at all.

xxooxxoo
LA :)

Holy Cow - My Baby Girl is TEN YEAR OLD!!!

2009-05-04T10:13:00.009-04:00

That old expression about "the older you get, the faster time flies..." Well, living it is believing it!!

I can't believe that Katie turned 10 yesterday!! Katie has been with us since she was exactly 6 months old and it's been an amazing 9 1/2 years! She's turning into an incredible young lady and we are blessed every day to have her in our lives!

We had a lovely weekend in North Carolina visiting my mom, MomMom and Uncle Ronnie and Aunt Linda. Ronnie and Stacy were out of town so we didn't get to see them unfortunately. I had not been there since November and they hadn't seen Katie since late July. This wasn't on purpose but between Don and Katie having pneumonia, MomMom having mono and pneumonia and the craziness of life in 2009... this was the first chance we actually were able to make the trip without it being canceled.

Katie stayed with Mom and MomMom, which is what we typically do now. She loves it and it gives Don and I some much needed alone time! :) We stayed at the Hampton Inn this time and I think we've decided that is our favorite hotel. It actually has a comfortable bed, unlike the Sleep Inn, Country Inn & Suites and the Holiday Inn Express!!

I asked Katie last night when we got home and she was eating her favorite food on the planet for her birthday evening dinner (Outback Buffalo Wings) "what her favorite part of her birthday weekend was".... she thought for a second and said "spending it with Grandmom, MomMom, Aunt Linda and Uncle Ronnie".

That was cool!! For the past several years we've done Disney or big birthday parties. It was nice to have a low key birthday with family this year!! And it was even better that being with family was her favorite part!!

Hopefully we will get some good quality time with Kim and Sarah when they are home this July!! We can't wait!!

Katie told Mom and MomMom when we got there that "she was so happy to see them. She thought she was never going to see them again!!" NOOOOOO Katie! Don't say that! Now Mom will really never let me live it down that it's been 10 months since they've seen their grandaughter/great-grandaughter!!" :)

It's always nice to get away for a few days but always good to get back home too!

My riding lesson got rained out this morning! Shoot! I have missed Lakota AND Arthur!!! Arthur is quickly becoming an extended family member and everyone knows how I feel about Lakota.

xxooxxoo!!
LA :)

Bridles & Blue Jeans Fundraising Event @ STAR

2009-04-26T22:25:00.001-04:00

From Don's blog...

Bridles & Blue Jeans

April 26, 2009 by Don

STAR Bridles & Blue Jeans 2009 from Midnight Magic Studios on Vimeo.

For the past several weeks, I have working almost non-stop on a fund raiser promo video for STAR. STAR (Shanghai-La Therapeutic Academy of Riding) holds a very special place in my heart. Four years ago, after seeing the impact that Dolphin Assisted Therapy had on Katie, Leeann and I were looking for a program to get Katie into that would help her on a more consistent basis. Katie has a long list of special needs, both medical and emotional. We wanted to get her in a program that would build her confidence and her self-esteem and hopefully provide an extracurricular activity.

When we heard about the STAR program, we knew we had to get her in as soon as possible. The only problem was there was a waiting list (there still is a list of 113 waiting to get in). I think we called the STAR office about once or twice a month, we wrote letters to the Board of Directors and to the different staff members to see about getting Katie in. It paid off and there was finally a opening that fit Katie and we were able to get her started with the winter session of 2006.

Katie instantly fell in love with the program. We had never really seen her “look forward” to anything the way she looked forward to her weekly sessions at STAR. She’s worked with Cocoa, Maria, Zipper and RB and she’s fallen in love with all of them.

I had volunteered a few times to help out with volunteer training videos or anything else they needed. Well, three weeks ago, I was asked to put together the promo video for STAR’s Bridels & Blue Jeans. This is their annual fundraiser. I was honored to be asked to produce this video and it has been a true labor of love for the past two weeks. I have worked on this video everyday, every spare minute I could find. I was worried about how it would play to a large group of people.

This video needed to tell the stories of the riders, the parents and the staff at STAR. The story of how STAR had come to exist had been told for many years at this fundraising event. The amazing thing about this video is, it never felt like “work”. The video mostly put itself together, I just put the pieces in place and the video did the rest all by itself. It was a great success.

I don’t take the credit… but it was an amazing experience to help tell the story.

Note: The little girl in braids holding the sign "I take medicine every day to stay alive" is Katie.

girls & Horses

2009-04-21T18:33:00.004-04:00

I'm so blessed to have a daughter who loves horses as much as I do and that we have a shared passion. I don't think I would have ever even discovered or re-discovered my love of horses had it not been for Katie.

girls & Horses from Leeann Samples on Vimeo.

Lakota is turning out to be such an incredible addition to our family. I get to see him almost every day. Most days I work with him or ride him but some days, Katie and I just go by, give him an apple or a treat and love on him. Those are the days he LOVES!

Today was one of those days and Don took some great photos while Katie and I were enjoying just being with him.

It inspired me to take the photos from today and put them with a few other recent ones and put them to one of my favorite songs by Templeton Thompson.

Dream Big, Work Hard, Have Faith!

xxooxxoo
LA :)

Life On Planet Cowgirl

2009-04-17T21:25:00.006-04:00

I have a new favorite music artist and cowgirl mentor... Templeton Thompson! I've had the music from her first three CD's on my iPod for a while now and the video of I did of me working with Belle a few weeks ago was using one of her songs "A Horse That Can Fly".

She seemingly has a very strong faith and a deep passion for horses and that is reflected in her music and couldn't be any better suited for me, AND Katie!

She is coming out with a new CD later this spring "Life On Planet Cowgirl" and she was offering a limited number of CD's as a pre-release titled "Life On Planet Cowgirl - Sketches". It has an audio commentary intro for every song telling the backstory for the song. I got it in the mail today and Katie and I listened to it over and over going to the farm and back tonight... we fell in love with it instantly!!

She's AWESOME!!

Today was just the BEST day in a long time!

The weather could not have been more beautiful!
I didn't wake up with a sinus headache like I have every other morning this week.
I had a GREAT riding lesson this morning with Arthur and Lakota.
I had a lovely lunch and mid-day shopping trip with my wonderful husband!
I had a great late afternoon 30 minute cat nap.
Then I had a great evening with Katie tonight, going to the farm and hanging out with Lakota, giving him apples and letting him make applesauce... (Don wasn't with us because he was at a rehearsal).
And, I got Templeton's CD in the mail.

Here is a photo of Arthur with Lakota! He's my new trainer, new friend and new adopted extended family member! :) I've just clicked with him - He's ALWAYS so happy. He's been working with gaited horses since he was 8 years old... so he KNOWS what he's doing. He still judges local horse shows and has a champion Racking Horse. He's done wonders, in just a few lessons, of helping me to find my riding confidence again!

Lakota has the smoothest gait... he's just a joy to ride. For the most part... he's young and has some stubbornness issues that Arthur is helping to work out but he's very sane under saddle. And he's just a love bug on the ground.... he just wants attention and loving. Wednesday when I got to the farm, he literally trotted to the gait when we heard me. That was awesome!!

My dad recently told me that I have a happiness in me when I'm with horses that he's never seen in me... I truly think that it is my passion. Don even says I'm a different and better person on the days I get time at the farm.

I'm adopting Templeton Thompson's slogan....

Dream Big, Work Hard, Have Faith!

xxooxxoo
LA :)

Heading To The Farm

2009-04-08T10:48:00.003-04:00

I'm trying this new program on my iPhone called iBlogger to see how it works. It let's you easily update your blog from your iPhone.

I'm heading out to work with Lakota this morning. Finally a sunny day and it's 50, which is much better than yesterdays 34, blustery wind with snow flurries. It's April people!!!

This is a photo that my friend Sande took of Lakota when he was at Ten Oaks. She is an amazing photographer and artist. You can check out some of her amazing work at her website.

Much has happened in the past week with Katie, my dad and Lakota. I will update details later today or tomorrow.

xxoo
LA :)

Please vote for Don on WTNZ Fox 43's Hot List

2009-04-06T14:03:00.002-04:00

His business is Midnight Magic Studios. You wont be inundated with spam if you specify not to be contacted. He's currently in the lead with a good friend hot on his trail. Here is the link to vote:

Click here to vote!

Here is a recent Spring 2009 Demo:

Midnight Magic Studios Spring 2009 Demo Video from Midnight Magic Studios on Vimeo.

Thanks for your support!

Don is loving what he does!!

LA :)

A Horse That Can Fly

2009-03-29T17:47:00.003-04:00

Templeton Thompson is one of my new favorite artist. Her, Mary Ann Kennedy and Katie Drake have some great music for horse lovers!

The song in my video is Templeton Thompson's "A Horse That Can Fly". I'd like to believe that Belle really is in heaven running through beautiful pastures waiting for me to ride her bareback one day.

I can't imagine a heaven with no horses. They are truly God's most beautiful creation.

There is an old Arabian proverb..."The wind of heaven is that which blows between a horse's ears".

I might have to move Lakota to a different farm because of his injury and what's needed for his recouperation. It's made me so sad because I've started building such good friendships at this farm and I can literally just pop out there, spend 1/2 hour with Lakota when I can. I'm literally getting to see him almost every day and work with him a LOT!!!

I know that's caused me to be more emotional but I also never really grieved loosing Belle. I threw myself into finding another horse and I'm glad that I did... I would have Lakota... and he's AMAZING!!

But I do miss Belle!

LA :)

Taking A Break

2009-03-25T16:55:00.002-04:00

It's been a gloomy rainy day and all I've done since 7:30am is numbers, numbers, numbers so I'm taking a little break and letting my eyes and fingers focus on words instead of numbers for a few.

This is the one time of year that I actually don't like working from home. A day like today - it was hard to fight taking a nap... especially when my eyes glazed over and got blurry. Also, it's hard when Katie comes home from school and I'd like to shut my laptop and spend time with her but I'm under the gun and can't!

Don went out in the mud and rain and walked my boy around this morning! Such a great husband! He's gonna do it again for me tomorrow and then hopefully I'll be able to be back taking care of Lakota.

Dad is home from the hospital! His spirits are so good!! He says he's in a lot of pain but he was making jokes and being him! Marilyn is tired and is not in as good of spirits. I wish I could do something to cheer her a little. I know this is hard for her... she's afraid. She's already lost one husband in her life and now she's being faced with that again!! We just have to be firm in our faith that no one leaves this earth until it's their time and God is in control! If you don't believe that... living through the scare of loosing someone you love so much would drive you insane!!

A few people, family and friends, have asked me recently how I can be so open on my blog and talk so freely about personal family things and my weight, etc...? I'm just an open person (now at least... I didn't use to be).

In 2009, it's hard to have secrets from anyone. You can't even keep private what the front of your house looks like... it's on Google. You can't really have an unlisted number... even if you are paying for it. Just ask the creditors who have tracked me down for my grandparents.

Why hide? Why not be open!? I've been making far more friends and acquaintances since I've opened up my world and it's made me a much happier person. Don is finding the same to be true for him too!

I think even though I haven't reached my goal weight and I've struggled the past year trying to get/stay motivated to loose these last 40 pounds... I still feel such an accomplishment, feel so much better and have so much more confidence in myself, my abilities and what I can do in life.

I'm sure that's definitely contributed to me being much more open.

I'll keep updates posted on Dad!

LA :)

Please pray for my dad

2009-03-24T13:41:00.002-04:00

He had his surgery this morning and it went wonderfully according to the doctor. However, his surgical oncologist says that it is not good that the cancer has recurred at what they call a "distant recurrence" and he is surprised that my father survived a year. He said that because of this recurrence it will most likely continue to spread.

They are going to send the tumor that they removed from his stomach off to try and come up with a designer chemo to treat it. The success rate for this is less than 10%.

The odds are closing in on my pop so please keep him in your prayers!

LA

Just What I Needed

2009-03-23T15:08:00.004-04:00

A wonderful day with my great husband and some farm time with Lakota. The weather was beautiful too... so nice and so needed!

This past week has been a little tough... actually a lot tough! We tried a new medicine with KT that did not do well at all and so we've changed back. Dad's visit was hard... because I'm so worried about him. He has his surgery tomorrow. If any of you watch Grey's Anatomy... my father has the very same condition as Izzy... Metastatic Melanoma. Only, it has not spread to his brain... but it is spreading and I'm so concerned for him.

I thought the pre-tax work that I do for my clients this year was going to be a breeze because everything has been incredibly more organized and under control this year but seemingly - that is not the case and I'm working 10+ hour days when I'd much rather be outside.

So, last week was tough. Sleep was rough. Days with Katie should have been fun - It Was Spring Break For Pete's Sake - but it was LONG and hard! The only fun she and I had was a quick shopping trip on Thursday afternoon and a picnic with my good friend Sheila and her two beautiful daughters!

On top of everything else - Lakota got injured last Monday while Dad was still here. Nothing severe but he got hurt and then was in his stall for three days strait because of horrible weather and that made the injury worse.

Then I had a major car repair and I'm not even going to touch on things with Gran... but it isn't good!

So, needless to say I was SOOOOO looking forward to having a nice breakfast with Don this morning and then heading to the farm. I did an hour of ground work with Lakota before the vet arrived at 11am and he is such a quick learner and does so well... except he threw a little horsey temper tantrum today. But just like the terrible twos, it was over almost before it began and I wasn't on his back at the time... so it was OK.

But then, boy, poor Lakota didn't know what hit him. The vet really worked him over. Heavily sedated and still standing, he was injected with a synthetic blister into his "right left" leg. Yes, that is what I told the vet... that it was his "right left" leg that was injured.

The blister will expand and cause pressure on his tendons and muscles, causing them to strengthen. I have to exercise him daily this week from the ground and then I have doctor's orders to try and ride him daily starting next Monday. Those are doctors orders that I can try to abide by! :)

His leg is going to be in a lot of pain this week. He's not going to want to be worked... so that will be loads of fun. He also had his teeth floated and his wolf teeth pulled AND all of his shots. I thought the vet bill was going to be ASTRONOMICAL but it wasn't as much as Brinkley's vet bill in February.

Poor guy really got it good this morning but he did great and it only took him like 15 minutes to shake off the sedatives.

It was really funny though because he couldn't walk a strait line for a while and his lips were numb... so he'd go to try and eat grass and his lips would just flap together. Then he would snort!

Anyway, it was a BEAUTIFUL morning and I had some much needed time with Don and it was fun being at the farm for the better part of the day... even though it involved my Lakota being tortured... :)

I'll have to post soon about Lakota's smoky noise! You know, Smoky the Smoke Monster from LOST... Lakota has his spooky noise down pat! Totally cracks Don and I up.

Maybe tomorrow!

LA :)

When You Think You Are Getting To Sleep Late On A Saturday Morning...

2009-03-21T08:55:00.003-04:00

and you have a child under the age of 10... BEWARE!

For this is what your child may choose for breakfast!!

*sigh*

LA :)

Damn Statistics & Prognoses

2009-03-15T22:12:00.002-04:00

Dad and Marilyn came to visit Friday afternoon. Dad had a long, tough week of appointments last week. Pet scan, biopsies, ultrasounds and then bad news. Right as he was driving into Knoxville, his surgical oncologist called with the news that his Melanoma had returned and it's on his stomach... internal!

This is not good!

The interferon treatment that Dad suffered through last year was suppose to drastically reduce the chance of recurrence... or to at least provide a greater length of time before recurrence.

So, it's back under the knife for Dad on March 24th!

He seems to be taking it far better than I ever would have thought! Marilyn not so much! Dad thought he was gonna have to take her to the ER after getting off the phone with the doctor. She pretty much had a panic attack and then fell apart totally when they got here.

She almost thought she was having a heart attack!!

We did a lot of research yesterday online. We don't know much yet... not sure if he's gonna do radiation again, interferon... hoping that immunotherapy might be an option. Results seem to be phenomenal with immunotherapy!

I'll update as things progress!!

But, I will say... the prognoses for recurrence so quickly and at a distant location (his original melanoma was on his scalp and Stage IV)... this melanoma is inside his stomach. Not sure what stage... but the statistics are grim.

Funny thing... Izzy on Grey's Anatomy has just gotten a grim diagnosis of Metastatic Melanoma. Her odds of survival more than a few months in TV land is less than 5%. But as one of her interns pointed out... the survival rate of getting the hiccups is 100% and a patient died on the show from the hiccups.

Strange things in life happen. We never know whats around the corner... what tomorrow holds.

None of us are promised tomorrow. But hopefully, my dad will have quite a few!

LA :)

I Hate How My Mind Works Sometimes

2009-03-09T08:19:00.002-04:00

I've got one of those memory banks that is always thinking... "this time last year... this time last month... this time last week" etc. For happy memories, this serves me well and always brings a smile to my face. For less than happy memories, not so much!

Well, it was exactly a month ago this morning that I lost Belle. That hit me yesterday hard. I think I threw myself into finding a new horse so hard and Katie had a lot going on this past month and between these two pre-occupations, I don't think I really grieved.

I miss her.

I love Lakota! I rode him Friday... really rode him... cantered for almost an hour. He didn't even have a bit in his mouth that fit properly and he was still perfect! He loves attention, enjoys just hanging out. I don't think he thinks he is a horse until someone gets on him. He stands perfectly still when you are grooming him and tacking him up.

Since he is a gelding (boy), his reactions are far different. If something has him worried or upset, his nostrils flair and his breathing increases and sometimes he snorts. I've been told this is very common for geldings. With mares (girls), they will just flip their lid with no warning.

I like having a warning!

But there is part of me that honestly thinks at times that we still have Belle and Lakota too and then it hits me and the sadness sets in again!

Lakota is a people horse. He just loves people - he loves Katie, will follow her around like an 1100 pound puppy, loves Don and is totally submissive to him... LOVES everyone at the new farm.

But, Belle was my horse. She did things for me that she didn't/wouldn't do for others. She responded to me when she wouldn't respond to others.

I love Lakota but there will never be another Belle!

I miss her!

LA :(

Lakota

2009-03-04T08:06:00.007-05:00

Lakota
Definition:
Pronunciation:
\lə-ˈkō-tə\
Date:
1918
1 : a member of a western division of the Dakota peoples
2 : a dialect of Dakota; Sioux tribe
3 : a good friend

A good equine friend is what we are hoping for.

Some people have understood my search for another horse these past weeks and I know some haven't. My heart has been so broken by Belle's untimely death. It was tragic and even though I never saw her body - I've struggled to not have horrible images in my head.

I wasn't even sure that I could really bond with another horse. I knew Katie could and for Don - it's different! He enjoys being around horses and I think he's enjoyed the search for a new one... but for him, it's much different.

I had spent countless hours with Belle, in many ways trying to get her vices worked out so that she could eventually be a great horse for Katie as well as me. Belle was definitely a girls horse. She was too small for Don and the few times that Mike rode her it was odd. She was just a "girly" horse.

Well, we looked at quite a few. I fell in love with a horse named Pepper and she was the first horse that helped me realize that I could bond with another horse. But, she was going to foal in May which meant it would have been late summer before the colt or filly would be weaned and I could have her.

Then there was Silver, a pretty silver dapple Tennessee Walker in Seymour. She was a sweetheart on the ground, great with Katie and when one of the cowboy like older men rode her with spurs, she was wonderful. When I rode her - NADA. She didn't do anything I asked...

There were a few others... none a good fit. A horse named Sierra, a beautiful palomino named Zoe (I've ALWAYS wanted a palomino)... and then we drove quite a ways to see a jet black Tennessee Walker named Sadie. I had seen video of her and she was exquisite. She had been in parades, taken young girls 10-12 on trail rides... she sounded perfect. PLUS, this particular farm had more than 10 other horses available. Surely out of 11+ horses, there would be one that might be a good match.

Here is Sadie...

Of course, since Sadie was the one I'd been most interested in, when we went to this farm, they brought her out first. She had an adorable personality. She LOVED attention and she was great with Katie. An 82 year old man named Bud rode her for me. He was a character. He rode her without a bit first, neck reined her and said "this is a dead broke horse here..."

NOT! I was so excited and I got right up on her and rode her in this huge indoor track around the barn. Once I felt comfortable, I took her outside, rode her up a hill and when I turned around to head back - she reared up. It rattled me... I thought it was just a fluke so I let up on the reins and called for help. Once one of the owners Kim and Don were quick to get out there with me, I tried to get her to head back to the barn again and she reared up quickly three more times. I had to get off that horse! That was the end of my relationship with Sadie.

They brought out a few others... none of which were good fits with Katie so I didn't even ride. Then they brought out a gelding spotted saddle horse named Champ that was almost identical to Belle in his markings and looking into his eyes... it felt like looking into Belle's eyes. I immediately started crying. But Katie was already hooked.

He practically fell asleep with his neck on Katie's shoulder. He was so gentle and kind so after one of the guys rode him, Don rode him. Don loved how responsive he was so I hopped on. He would turn on a dime, and was so well mannered but when I got him into a fast walk and then into a canter... I thought I was gonna bounce off the saddle. For him to have been a gaited horse, he was so ROUGH and bouncy!

Don and Katie really wanted him but I was being very picky. If we were going to get another horse - it had to be one that was FUN to ride, really ride. One that was great around Katie. One that didn't have many vices to work through... there was criteria that I had.

We looked at a few more... I wasn't ready to commit. I was actually already a little depressed because I thought... either another horse now WAS NOT meant to be or the search would continue.

Then they brought out Lakota. Katie had already been talking to this guy in his stall. He is a paint (spotted colors) which is Katie's favorite. I think maybe the contrast with the white and black/brown. So Katie immediately started loving on him and they started showing us how great his ground manners were. He didn't even have to be cross tied or tied to a post to be tacked up. He just stood patiently. Then they rode him and he was beautiful.

But, he had piercing blue eyes. That really threw me. I've been around a horse with one blue eye before and it was just kind of weird for me. PLUS, he's big. Like Sunny big almost. He's 15.2hh and I wanted a horse in the 14hh range.

After they rode him for a bit, the convinced me to ride him. He looked so smooth, I agreed. I knew I DID NOT want this horse but I thought - I'll ride him and we will head on home.

I rounded the first corner and clucked once and he shifted into that fast walk and I clucked again and he shifted into a canter and I said "Oh my gosh, he's wonderful"... THAT WAS IT. I was sold. They couldn't get me off him.

He will hopefully make a great addition. I'm convinced that once he really bonds with us, he will be a horse like Sunny, one that Katie can ride all summer long and for many years to come.

I was already dreading this summer. Katie will have STAR and swimming but I really want something that will get us out of the house daily.

The farm I had found to move Belle to is just incredible. I've already been spending time there and making friends and it's FAR different than the farm where we had Sunny and Belle and then the farm where I had Belle.

I still have moments of breaking down over loosing Belle. She meant so much to me. Katie even still has a hard time with it and she wasn't nearly as close to Belle as she is Sunny.

I thought briefly about asking for Sunny back from STAR. She's still ours and we can have her back any time we want but STAR has put so much work into Sunny and she's doing great there... so that really wasn't an option.

Don is also very happy about Lakota. He's going to be a more versatile horse. He's very level headed, and I think he will be my horse... but Don and Katie will very much enjoy being around him and riding him as well... so even though he will be "mine" and I'll be doing most of the work with him... he will be a family horse.

Here's hoping Lakota brings us many years of happy memories!!

LA :)

Girls Just Need To Have Fun

2009-03-02T18:26:00.007-05:00

And sometimes, that involves getting away for a bit!!

And, it was so nice to get away this past weekend with my best friend, Lisa and a new friend, Shara, who I am loving getting to know! We went with a great group of 14 other ladies to the mountains for a scrapbooking retreat!! It was so fantastic to get away for a few days!

Jen & Sarah from SITC did soooo much work for this retreat and it really made it so wonderful for everyone who went. The cabin was beautiful, the scrapping space was great, all our meals were provided, there was a hot tub, a DVD player for exercise videos and a lot of fun and a lot of laughter!!

I got to take a nice nap on Friday, got to do a little fun shopping with Shara and Lisa, I got 26 pages completed and came home more organized with my scrapbooking supplies... NICE!

Lisa is doing so great on her diet and looks fantastic! She is an inspiration to me to try and stay motivated!! We exercised Friday night after eating an 800 calorie lasagna dinner... lol! Everyone was laughing at us claiming that we didn't understand the meaning of the word "retreat".

I have brand new motivation to get these last dang 40 pounds off and to be exercising daily.

I actually had to come home early on Saturday night when everyone else was staying until Sunday. (I have been meaning to ask Lisa today if her and Shara exercised Saturday night after I left. I did my 3 mile walk when I got home).

I had to leave early because of Lakota's arrival... who is Lakota? More to follow in the coming weeks about him!

LA :)

If You Were A Little Girl In The 70's

2009-02-23T16:53:00.003-05:00

Found this via a friend on Facebook and thought it was great...

If you were a little girl in the 70's...

You had that Fisher Price Doctor's Kit with a stethoscope that actually worked.

You owned a bicycle with a banana seat and a plastic basket with flowers on it.

You learned to skate with actual skates (not roller blades) that had metal wheels.

You thought Gopher from Love Boat was cute (admit it!)

You had nightmares after watching Fantasy Island.

You had either a 'bowl cut' or 'pixie', not to mention the 'Dorothy Hamill'. People sometimes thought you were a boy.

You had rubber boots for rainy days and Moon boots for snowy days.

YEAH! You owned a 'Slip-n-Slide', on which you injured yourself on a sprinkler head more than once.

You owned 'Klick-Klacks' and smacked yourself in the face more than once!

Your Holly Hobbie sleeping bag was your most prized possession. (My mom even made me a decoupaged Holly Hobbie trash can)

You wore a poncho, gauchos, and knickers.

You begged Santa for the electronic game, Simon.

You had the Donnie and Marie dolls with those pink and purple satiny shredded outfits, or the sunshine family.

You spent hours in your backyard on your metal swing set with the trapeze. The swing set tipped over at least once.

You had homemade ribbon barrettes in every imaginable color. (Oh yeah!)

You had a pair of Doctor Scholl's sandals (the ones with hard sole & the buckle). You also had a pair of salt-water sandals. (and I always got blisters....)

You wanted to be Laura Ingalls Wilder really bad; you wore that Little House on the Prairie-inspired plaid, ruffle shirt with the high neck in at least one school picture; and you despised Nellie Olson!

You wanted your first kiss to be at a roller rink! ---- yes it was!

PONG! ('video tennis' ) was the most remarkable futuristic game you've ever heard of!

Your hairstyle was described as having 'wings' or 'feathers' and you kept it 'pretty' with the comb you kept in your back pocket. When you walked, the 'wings' flapped up and down, looked like you were gonna 'take off'.

You know who Strawberry Shortcake is, as well as her friends, Blueberry Muffin and Huckleberry Pie.

You carried a Muppets lunch box to school and it was metal, not plastic. With the thermos inside some were glass inside and broke the first time you dropped them.

You and your girlfriends would fight over which of the Dukes of Hazzard was your boyfriend.

You often asked your Magic-8 ball the question: 'Who will I marry. Shaun Cassidy, Leif Garrett, or David Cassidy?'

You completely wore out your Grease, Saturday Night Fever, and Fame soundtrack record album.

You tried to do lots of arts and crafts, like yarn and Popsicle-stick God's eyes, decoupage, or those weird potholders made on a plastic loom.

You used to tape record songs off the radio by holding your portable tape player up to the speaker.

You had subscriptions to Dynamite and Tiger Beat.

You learned everything you needed to know about girl issues from Judy Blume books. (Are you there God, It's me, Margaret.)

You thought Olivia Newton John's song 'Physical' was about aerobics. (?? its not??)

You wore friendship pins on your tennis shoes, or shoelaces with heart or rainbow designs.

You wanted to be a Solid Gold dancer.

You drowned yourself in Love's Baby Soft - which was the first 'real' perfume you ever owned.

You glopped your lips in Strawberry Roll-on lip-gloss till it almost dripped off.

Oh my goodness... I guess most of us girls were a lot alike back then!!

I hope horses go to heaven

2009-02-09T20:20:00.003-05:00

because that's the only way that I'll see my sweet Belle again! Tragically, we went to the farm today for me to spend time with her and ride her and start getting stuff together to move her this upcoming Sunday...

When we got there... we couldn't find her anywhere! I immediately knew something was horribly wrong but I never thought she was gone for good.

Well, she was because she died. She somehow climbed into the run-in where the round bales of hay where... I'm sure I know what happened that caused her to do it but placing blame doesn't do any good at this point. But, she got trapped, injured her leg and they think she literally wore her heart out trying to get out. When they found her, Don was with them and she was covered in sweat but already gone. I was still walking the fence lines in the pastures looking for where she might have gone missing.

She must have been so scared!

I'm heartbroken!! I'd worked so many hours helping her to become the best horse she could be - for Katie and I both. She was almost there!

She knew how much I loved her and she truly trusted me!!

She was definitely my horse. We had a connection!

I don't know how I'll get past this.

Amazing how quickly life can change. Just 24 hours ago I was blogging about my excitement over my newly formed plans with her at the new farm. Just goes to show how fickle life really is.

LA :(

Looking Forward To Some Changes

2009-02-08T17:52:00.003-05:00

2009 hasn't quite had the start I'd hoped for. Sickness has continued to plague our family... Katie getting sick with that stomach bug and landing in the hospital and then Don and I followed. Then personally there have been some let downs and I've had a hard time not being in a funk. Katie has really been struggling... we've finally finalized her move to a new school. And, for some reason, this has been one of the hardest things for me. I guess because for me, it's cementing the fact that Katie is not going to have a normal life... but then again, how many people have "normal" lives anymore. We all seem to struggle with something. Katie just has a lot that she is dealing with and I know her future holds a lot of struggles. Hopefully she will continue to be as determined as she is now.

I'm very hopeful about a little girl that is going to be in Katie's new class. She is actually a 4th grader, named Anna. She seems to be a lot like Katie with similar interests and personality traits. I'm praying hard that she will be a good little friend for Katie. Her new teacher seems WONDERFUL and we are very excited about that. But, we've also grown to love everyone in Katie's life at her current school and it's going to be hard for us and Katie to start over.

I've also really been unhappy lately about my situation with Belle. She means so much to me. Her and Sunny both. We love seeing Sunny when we go to STAR. Sunny looks amazing and is being so well cared for and she's making many people happy. But Belle does so much for me. My love and desire to be involved with equestrian activities was the motivating factor for me to have the WLS two years ago.

Well, since moving Belle to the new farm in July of last year, I've done some great work with her. A lot in part to Mike Branch, my favorite cowboy. He taught me more about horses than I ever learned and I've made a lot of progress with Belle.

But, now Mike has moved from this farm (he was renting a home on the farm) and Belle is always in a pasture with mules. I know people who own and love mules are passionate about them but I don't care for them. They are invasive and know NO boundaries. You can't get them to back off of you and they will kick in a heartbeat! So, I can't go spend time with Belle unless Don goes to help me get Belle... because of the dog gone mules.

Well, last Sunday night, I got an email from the owner of the farm telling me that if I didn't continue to pay full board for Belle, which is quite costly, that I would have to be at the farm daily to feed Belle grain. I can't commit to that. Not with life the way it is with Katie and being self-employed.

So, the search was on AGAIN for a new farm. We went and looked at about six farms last week and I settled on one that is only 5-8 minutes from our home. It's a small barn with only 9 other horses. All female owners... great bunch! I'm already making some friends there. They ride a lot together on the weekends.

I move her next Sunday, the 15th and I can't wait. I know she will be skittish for a few days but then I think this move will be good in the long run. I will see her much more and hopefully, by the time Katie is 11-12, Belle will be a great horse for her to ride.

Hopefully being with Belle and riding her more is going to be that motivation I need to GET AND STAY serious about getting this final 40 pounds off.

LA :)

February Snow Fun

2009-02-02T18:03:00.008-05:00

YAY!

It snowed today!! I'm so over winter but if we are stuck with it, at least a little snowfall breaks up the monotony.

Katie was more than happy to come home early from school! There wasn't much snow but Katie's never gotten to build a snowman so she built a small one! Brinkley ate the first one that was on the ground... I guess it was his equivalent of a gingerbread man...lol! Brinkley loves the snow - his age is starting to catch up with him but today in the snow he was as frisky as he was when he was one year old!

So, then Katie and Don built a snow"girl" on the deck railing so Brinkley couldn't get to it!

Hogan wasn't too crazy about the snow! For a Beagle like dog, he doesn't like getting his paws wet! A hunter he's not! Spoiled he is!

Hope everyone enjoyed the snow! We did!

LA :)

Trying To Beat The January Blahs

2009-01-30T06:22:00.002-05:00

Finally, a sunny, beautiful day with no wind!!

It was so nice to get outside and enjoy being active. I went to the farm and spent a great two hours working with Belle. I almost cried when I left the farm... just because I was so happy to be outside and it was so great to be with her!

Then when Katie came home from school, she played outside and was bursting at the seams with giggles and happiness! I think her and I are a lot alike and our moods can only take so much "cabin fever".

I've been playing around with storyboards and this is one. The exposure is off in these photos but it is still fun!

LA :)

What Really Truly Matters

2009-01-28T18:00:00.007-05:00

I was inspired by a friends blog to do this...

When I sit down and really think about what I want from life
the people that I want to surrounding me
the wife and mother I strive to be
the business that I envision running with my husband
the travels I hope to take
the house I want to own on land with our horses
how rich and full I want my days to be

When I sit down and think about our new president and the hope so many of us have
my interest in spirituality and the questions I have
the existing friendships I want to nourish and new friends I hope to make
the photos I want to take
the scrapbooks and journals I wish to keep
the walls that I will paint
the people I hope to meet

It makes all the petty, ridiculous, ugliness in the world seem so minuscule and humorous
I really, really want to focus on what matters, what truly matters
I'm trying extremely hard to be the human being that I want to be - the one I know I can be
Kind, Compassionate, Giving, Thoughtful, MOTIVATED AND DETERMINED and Creative
I want to be a better mother, a more attentive, nurturing mother
I want to be a sweeter wife - never takes a night of listening to my husband's heart beating in his chest for granted
I want to be a kinder friend - that is a listener and less of a talker

Daily decisions.
Daily choices.
I get to decide how I will act and react to anything thrown my way

One day at a time, one moment at a time... never taking anything for granted!

LA :)

A Scare With Katie

2009-01-20T18:27:00.003-05:00

I'm always trying to remind myself to be aware of how much I have to be thankful for and how blessed my life is. Well, the past few days have been pretty tough and when life gets tough - sometimes I have a hard time coping!

There has been a little bit of a family crisis happening the past week that involves someone who I love and care for deeply and I'm very concerned for her.

Then, Katie went to Children's Hospital via ambulance Saturday night. Some of you know that on September 11, 2001, the day the world seemed to be falling apart, my then 2 1/2 year old daughter got a stomach bug and could not keep her endocrine meds down and went into adrenal shock. It was a horribly scary event. Don was out of town on business and I was here alone - mostly. She was hospitalized and I learned the hard way that day how serious it was when Katie got a stomach bug. We were trained in how to administer a shot of solu-cortef in the event that she become ill like that again in the future.

We never had to use it - only refill the Rx when the shelf life expired. Then in 2004 we were told that the manufacturer had discontinued it.

Then, in July 2007, we were in North Carolina visiting family when Katie got a stomach bug and was very ill and could barely keep anything down for more than 10 minutes. We raced across the mountain and went strait to Children's Hospital. She was well cared for and she rebounded quickly!

Then on Saturday, Don had a wedding and Katie and I spent the day having fun and went to STAR at 3. It was her first session for the winter and she was working with a new horse - Cheyenne. Crazy, crazy horse! Made Belle look like a perfectly sane creature on her worst day when I first got her. Katie started feeling ill and at first, I thought it was because she was scared of crazy Cheyenne! But, no! We left STAR early and Katie got sick before we even made it to the car. The trip home was rough and by the time we got home, she just wanted to lay in the bathroom to be close to the toilet.

I was worried that when it came time for her meds at 7pm, she wouldn't be able to keep them down. So my best friend Lisa, came to our rescue, and went to Walgreens and got some anti-nausea medicine. It seemed to help at first.

We gave her the normal meds at 7:00pm - Don was home by then. Dr. Nichels, her endocrinologist had always told us - if she can keep her meds down at least 1/2 hour - she's good. Not that I didn't trust him - just my gut always said "let's shoot for 1 hour". She kept everything down until 7:55. We should have gone ahead and headed for the ER but there is so much flu and stuff out there right now - the tought of Children's ER on a Saturday night left me saying "let's try it one more time".

So we tried the anti-nasuea med again with her other meds and this time she only kept it down 40 minutes. At this point, she was getting sick and not waking up and her finger tips were blue. In trying to get her awake and aware, I touched her feet, which had furry furry socks and they were like ice bricks.

I didn't pass go, I definitely didn't collect $100 - I went strait for the phone and called 911. The ambulance was here within 5-8 minutes and the 6'4 paramedic who was absolutely AWESOME about broke down our door. He went strait for Katie and did like a 60 second assesment and radioed that he was coming in. Don said "let me grab her jacket" and the paramedic said "no time for jackets".

Don rode in the ambulance because I was panic ridden and Katie was clinging to Don. Don said that when they got in the ambulance, the paramedic called in and told the driver Code 3, Code 3... then started getting Katie all hooked up.

Apparently, the driver of the ambulance was a firefighter and not use to driving the ambulance and got lost on the way to Children's.

I actually got to Children's before the ambulance. As I was walking into the ER - I saw and ambulance going West on Cumberland lights and siren and I thought - "oh that couldn't be them"... well it was.

Long story short, the team at Children's descended on Katie once the driver got her there and the acted quick and got her turning around.

Turns out - the manufacturer of the Solu-Cortef actually put it back on the market in 2005 and no one told us. Obviously, we have a good supply of it now and if one of Katie's meds ever gets "discontinued" again - you better believe I will be much more vigilant.

Katie came home Sunday but has been pretty weak and still under the weather the past few days. She isn't sleeping well at all.

Obviously, I have not exercised in the past four days and I definitely have not eaten well. I'm not making excuses - it just is what it is. I have had NOTHING left after the hospital stint and taking care of Katie.

In the midst of all this, I was dealing with a new client who apparently not a sane person. He was via email, demanding to meet with me face to face while Katie was in the hospital. Obviously, he's no longer my client.

I'm trying desperately to have a successful 21 day stint of eating everything right and exercising daily... if you do anything for 21 days - it supposedly becomes habit.

Hopefully, once she is well and level - I will be back on track. But, one day at a time and just trying to keep my head above water!

LA :)

Tips For Living A Happier Life

2009-01-15T15:29:00.001-05:00

I got this from one of my Facebook friends and thought I would share it with my blogger friends.

1. Take a 10-30 minutes walk every day. And while you walk, smile.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
3. Sleep for 7 hours.
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
5. Play more games.
6. Read more books than you did the previous year.
7. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.
8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
9. Dream more while you are awake.
10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
11. Drink plenty of water.
12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
13. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
14. Forget issues of the past.
15. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
16. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
17. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
18. Smile and laugh more.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
22. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about. Don't compare your partner with others.
24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
25. Forgive everyone for everything.
26. What other people think of you is none of your business.
27. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
28. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
29. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
30. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
31. The best is yet to come.
32. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
33. Do the right thing!
34. Call your family often.
35. Your inner most is always happy. So be happy.
36. Each day give something good to others.
37. Don't over do. Keep your limits.
38. Share this with someone you care about.

2009 - The Year of Hope & Also Learning To Love Me

2009-01-10T08:31:00.003-05:00

I was very happy to see 2009 arrive! Eight is my favorite number... I don't know why, it just always has been! But, 200EIGHT was a very tough year for my family and even a few others I'm close to!

So, welcome 2009!!

I have a lot of hope for 2009 and HOPE does seem to be a recurring theme for many people I have encountered recently!

2009 is also going to be the year that I finally conquer some of my nemesis! I don't have resolutions... I think you've heard me rant about New Years Resolutions before... most are long forgotten by January 31st.

However, I'm starting a 21-day journey on Monday. It's an online class with Ashley Wren and it focuses on "Learning To Love Yourself in 2009". A big focus of this class is living healthier and losing weight! There is a great online support forum for fellow scrapbookers who are all dealing with similar issues.

I'm going to try and chronicle as much as I can of this (continued) journey and hopefully my progress on my blog. My blog was a good accountability tool when I was loosing weight... when I was easily loosing weight! Now that the weight loss has been thrown back in my court completely and is no longer a result of the surgery... hopefully blogging about it and posting some of my creative outlets concerning it will help and hold me accountable.

I have not weighed since December 14th and I'm dreading like everything getting on that scale on Monday. But, I can't beat myself up... there are many "excuses" for what that number is going to be on Monday but the thing I have to focus on is moving forward. So Monday, it's back to BodyBugg, AM Walking 3-5 miles a day, Eating healthy throughout the day and PM Workouts.

Also, there is a new season of The Biggest Loser which I think is going to be amazing!! If these people who, for the most part, are far larger than I was at my heaviest, can do this and reach a healthy life... so can I! So can my husband!

Here is the beginning excerpt from my online class...

Better late than never... Because of previous commitments, I'm not starting my 21-day journey until Monday, Jan 12th. I've been reading and printing and starting to assemble my binder. Also, planning out menus and grocery lists. Planning is KEY!

Here's my 411.

Name: Leeann Samples

Three goals for the new year:
#1 - Making ME a priority... I always put ME at the bottom of my list (to include exercise, continued weight loss [I've lost 144 or so pounds since December 2006]
#2 - Planning and being better organized and
#3 - De-cluttering my office, my scraproom, my whole house (one room a month) and basically de-cluttering my life and daily schedule!
#4 - I'm horrible at adhering to limits... by December 2009 to ride my horse Belle bareback with no mounting block!

What convinced you to take this class: Being stuck in a rut... haven't been able to reach my goal weight...still 40 pounds away. Also, have been in a rut with NOT scrapbooking, NOT taking enough pictures and NOT taking any time for me. AW is an inspiration and I read her recent blog entry with tears streaming down my face. You go girl!!

I had gastric bypass surgery on December 27, 2006 and lost 144 pounds. I have gone up 5-10 and down 5 pounds consistently for the past 9-10 months and it's heartbreaking to me. After my surgery, I experienced life-threatening complications and was critically ill for over 3 weeks. It is heartbreaking to me that after going through that, all that... food is still "my drug" and my "go to fix" when I've had a stress filled day (which I have MANY) or am depressed (which is often) and that I went through all of what I went through and still am not "cured" with my food attachment! Depression is a cruel, cruel illness because I have SO VERY MUCH to be thankful for in my life which makes it so extremely frustrating when I'm depressed!

I have to embrace what I have accomplished and move forward trying to realize that I do want to reach my goal weight but I'm still significantly better off than two years ago. But I do have to learn to make ME my number one priority or I'm not going to strong or healthy enough to live the long life I hope to live!

Greatest Attribute: My love for people and animals and LIFE! I would do almost anything for anyone I care about!

Biggest Downfall: Depression, staying motivated and on track and getting BACK on track when I do get derailed!

Name a Christmas gift you got: BodyBugg and spending Christmas with my dad who fought a serious form of cancer this past year!

Family: Don (amazing husband of 17 years), adopted daughter Katie who is 9 and is the LIGHT of my life, Brinkley the Golden Retriever who is 10, Hogan the Puggle who is 3 and such a snuggle buddy and Gizmo, the 15 pound Himalayan kitten who thinks he rules our entire abode who is 9 months old and HUGE!

Three of your favorite things: My iPhone, my MacBook Pro, My Bodybugg, my Canon 40D and my Treadmill... sorry, I know that's FIVE but I love stuff!!

Oh yeah, and falling asleep to the sound of rain... not to be confused with my new disdain for rain during the day.

LA :)

Catching Up!

2009-01-04T10:31:00.004-05:00

Wow, it's been too long since I've posted! People thought I fell off the blogging planet! Things were just crazy busy during the holidays and Katie, bless her heart, really hit a BIG rough patch a week before Christmas.

She leveled back out literally on Christmas Eve so we had a very nice family Christmas. We tried to scale way back this year on the materialistic aspect of Christmas and focus more on being with family and the things that are important. I think everyone who has been really paying attention to world event and the global economy did the same.

We have always done WAY too much for Katie at Christmas anyway. Which, has never been smart because she never really "wants" for anything during the year. But this Christmas was nice because she wasn't overwhelmed and she appreciated each and every gift, taking her time opening them, and talking about them.

Dad and Marilyn arrived mid-day on Christmas day. They went and picked up Gran and we all spent Christmas afternoon and evening together! We had a very nice Christmas dinner and there was a lot of laughter and fun. Gran was really zoned a lot of the day and not very conversational. It's very hard watching this happen to her... but we tried to tie her into conversations constantly and Katie engaged her all through the day.

I was very thankful to have Christmas with my dad. There was a time this past year that I was so concerned he might not even make it through the year. But, he seems to be doing very well, he's much stronger, his personality is back and the last PET scan didn't detect any cancerous cells. The doctors are still guarded but they are much more optimistic than they were late summer. When we took Gran back to Victorian Square Christmas night, we drove around looking at Christmas lights. All six of us fit comfortably in Don's big truck and it was a lot of fun.

Sienna, my best friends daughter, keeps Katie some and she is so awesome! She called me on Monday before New Years and told me that she'd keep Katie New Years Eve so we could go out for our anniversary. You know, when you are 24 years old... you think getting married on New Years Eve is romantic... not so much when you are 40+. There is nothing really "romantic" that you can do as a couple on New Years Eve. So, the next best alternative was to spend the evening with great friends. It had been MONTHS since we'd been out and had any fun.

So, we went with Lisa, Rick, Don and Shara to the Downtown Grill for dinner which was awesome. Then we spent the evening at Market Square! I have to say that Knoxville has finally started doing a GREAT job of revitalizing the downtown area. The "First Night" event that they had at Market Square was just awesome and we had so much fun.

I think one of the best things we did that evening was go see Einstein Simplified. They were hilarious and it was so good to laugh... you know the kind of laugh that almost hurts your tummy. We definitely plan on going to see them again soon. Don enjoyed catching up with Frank Murphy, who is part of the group and now lives in Knoxville but is originally from the D.C. area.

We didn't make it until midnight because of the cold. It wasn't just the cold... it was the wind really. I think I'd be fine in sub-zero temps if I was dressed warm enough... it's the wind that gets ya!

But, we danced in Market Square... we had interaction with a funny magician... we walked around and just had fun!

Time with good friends is great therapy for the soul! I hope we get together again soon!

Then, Friday we headed up to Kingsport to visit Don's family and help his Aunt Joyce with her new computer that Don helped her pick out. No surprise, it's a MAC. An iMac. Katie was literally counting the days to hang out with Blake and Hunter again!

We stayed at a hotel and we went to the hotel first to drop off our things and I don't think we had told Katie that was what the plan was and when we got to the hotel and Blake and Hunter weren't there... she was not happy!

We headed over to Joyce's house after we got checked in at the hotel. I have to say that it is just wonderful having Don's mom and other members of his family back in our lives again. We can't ever let "stuff" come between us again. Family is too important and especially when there are children involved. There is nothing in life that can happen that can't be worked out.

Katie has really gotten attached to them all. She calls Don's mom, GramSue. She has a Grandma (Marilyn) and a Grandmom (my mom) and a MomMom (my MomMom) and then Gran. So, Katie came up with GramSue to keep it different so she'd know who was who.

She also absolutely loves Joyce and Robin. Robin is awesome with Katie! I love being around Blake and Hunter because I always wanted a boy and a girl... and it appears as though Katie will be an only child so it's great being around Blake and Hunter. Robin is the same with Katie... I think she'd enjoy having a girl. Robin's fiance' David is great too! They are doing just an awesome job raising Blake and Hunter because they are great little guys and they are very patient and good with Katie.

We spent Saturday evening at this place called Fun Expedition. We had a blast! We did laser tag, bumper cars, rock climbing and lots of video games. Katie even got to build another animal... her room officially looks like a stuffed animal factory blew up in it.

Phew! What a holiday season! Now, it's time to focus on 2009. I hope it's less hectic and trying than 2008 was. I'm fixing to start a journaling scrapbook class tomorrow online by Ashley Wren called Love Myself in 2009. Taken from her blog...

Its scrapbooking, but its so much more.
It's even more personal this time.
If you want to lose weight, this is the class for you.
If you want to simply get in shape this is for you.
If you have goals for the New Year, and want some accountability - this is for you.
If you want a place to document your days, your journey, and your progress - this is for you.
If you want to have support all along the way - this is for you.
If you want to love yourself and to be proud of yourself

I didn't necessarily want to have "New Years Resolutions" because by January 31st... where are they? Usually long forgotten.

But, I do want 2009 to be a health, family, friend, business, fun and love focused year! I don't want to loose more weight because of vanity... I want to for my health. When I was so heavy, I could gain or loose 5-15 pounds and never tell it. Now, if I go up 5 or down 5 - I can tell a huge difference in how I feel and how my clothes fit.

So, welcome 2009. I hope you are a year full of blessings and happiness for me and all those I love and care about!

LA :)

Merry Christmas

2008-12-25T06:53:00.004-05:00

I wish everyone a wonderful and blessed Merry Christmas! My dad and Marilyn are on their way, they will pick up Gran and be here by noon and we are going to spend the rest of Christmas day together! I'm so excited that my dad will be here.

It's 6:55am and I'm been up since 6am waiting and watching for Katie to wake up... she's such an early riser. But, no sounds yet. Yesterday was the best day we've had with Katie in weeks so hopefully we ARE on the down side of this and she is getting leveled out.

We really scaled back her Christmas this year but we always get her one gift that is her "big" gift that Santa leaves for her. This year, it's Biscuit. Even though we found Sophie a new home, we still have Hogan and Brinkley - who she adores but sometimes she wants them to play with her and they don't necessarily want to. Well she's been getting us to watch this commercial for three months... so this is her big gift this year.

We had fun getting him set up last night... Don maybe a little more so than me. It's amazing how "real" he is. He's like a little robotic Brinkley... only not as stubborn.

We all have a lot to be thankful for this Christmas... I continue to try and remind myself of that every morning before the chaos of the day sets in. Anyway, Merry Christmas to everyone!!

Much love,
LA :)

P.S. This shouldn't be a PS... it should have been at the beginning. One of my favorite things to do on Christmas Eve is to read the first chapter of Max Lucado's: God Came Near. Chapter One is The Arrival. Most of you know that I don't go to church anymore but you know I still have a very strong faith and I rely on that faith a lot. We all need to remember what Christmas is about... here is The Arrival.

"God Came Near"

(Written by Max Lucado)

The Arrival

The noise and bustle began earlier than usual in the village. As night gave way to dawn, people were already on the streets. Vendors were positioning themselves on the corners of the most heavily traveled avenues. Store owners were unlocking the doors to their shops. Children were awakened by the excited barking of the street dogs and the complaints of donkeys pulling carts.

The owner of the inn had awakened earlier than most in the town. After all, the inn was full, all the beds taken. Every available mat or blanket had been put to use. Soon all the customers would be stirring and there would be a lot of work to do.

One's imagination is kindled thinking about the conversation of the innkeeper and his family at the breakfast table. Did anyone mention the arrival of the young couple the night before? Did anyone ask about their welfare? Did anyone comment on the pregnancy of the girl on the donkey? Perhaps. Perhaps someone raised the subject. But, at best, it was raised, not discussed. There was nothing that novel about them. They were, possibly, one of several families turned away that night.

Besides, who had time to talk about them when there was so much excitement in the air? Augustus did the economy a favor when he decreed that a census should be taken. Who could remember when such commerce had hit the village?

No, it is doubtful that anyone mentioned the couple's arrival or wondered about the condition of the girl. They were too busy. The day was upon them. The day's bread had to be made. The morning's chores had to be done. There was too much to do to imagine that the impossible had occurred.

God entered the world as a baby.

Yet, were someone to chance upon the sheep stable on the outskirts of Bethlehem that morning, what a peculiar scene they would behold.

The stable stinks like all stables do. The stench of urine, dung, and sheep reeks pungently in the air. The ground is hard, the hay scarce. Cobwebs cling to the ceiling and a mouse scurries across the dirt floor.

A more lowly place of birth could not exist.

Off to one side sit a group of shepherds. They sit silently on the floor, perhaps perplexed, perhaps in awe, no doubt in amazement. Their night watch had been interrupted by an explosion of light from heaven and a symphony of angels. God goes to those who have time to hear him -- so on this cloudless night he went to simple shepherds.

Near the young mother sits the weary father. If anyone is dozing, he is. He can't remember the last time he sat down. And now that the excitement has subsided a bit, now that Mary and the baby are comfortable, he leans against the wall of the stable and feels his eyes grow heavy. He still hasn't figured it all out. The mystery event puzzles him. But he hasn't the energy to wrestle with the questions. What's important is that the baby is fine and that Mary is safe. As sleep comes he remembers the name the angel told him to use ... Jesus. "We will call him Jesus."

Wide awake is Mary. My, how young she looks! Her head rests on the soft leather of Joseph's saddle. The pain has been eclipsed by wonder. She looks into the face of the baby. Her son. Her Lord. His Majesty. At this point in history, the human being who best understands who God is and what he is doing is a teenage girl in a smelly stable. She can't take her eyes off him. Somehow Mary knows she is holding God. So this is he. She remembers the words of the angel. "His kingdom will never end."

He looks like anything but a king. His face is prunish and red. His cry, though strong and healthy, is still the helpless and piercing cry of a baby. And he is absolutely dependent upon Mary for his well-being.

Majesty in the midst of the mundane. Holiness in the filth of sheep manure and sweat. Divinity entering the world on the floor of a stable, through the womb of a teenager and in the presence of a carpenter.

She touches the face of the infant-God. How long was your journey!

This baby had overlooked the universe. These rags keeping him warm were the robes of eternity. His golden throne room had been abandoned in favor of a dirty sheep pen. And the worshiping angels had been replaced with kind but bewildered shepherds.

Meanwhile, the city hums. The merchants are unaware that God has visited their planet. The innkeeper would never believe that he has just sent God into the cold. And the people would scoff at anyone who told them the Messiah lay in the arms of a teenager on the outskirts of their village. They were all too busy to consider the possibility.

Those who missed His Majesty's arrival that night missed it not because of evil acts or malice; no, they missed it because they simply weren't looking.

Little has changed in the last two thousand years, has it?

Merry Christmas Eve

2008-12-24T14:29:00.003-05:00

Seemingly, I'm much better than I was yesterday. Katie is doing MUCH better and hopefully on her way to being leveled out again. I woke up this morning at 5:45 and got up and went to Walmart, Target, Best Buy and Kroger. Mainly just getting a few little small things like stocking stuffers and then of course groceries.

There weren't many people out... it was still dark when I got to Walmart. That's the only time I can tolerate Walmart is when it's almost deserted. By the time I was heading home at 9am... it was starting to get crazy.

I'm starting to look forward to tonight... it will just be the three of us tonight. Then tomorrow morning, just the three of us but then my dad, Marilyn and Gran will get here about noon. Dad and Marilyn are coming from Florida and are going to get Gran on their way in.

I'm thankful that my dad is healthy for now and that we will be spending Christmas together! I'm thankful that Katie is doing better and as a result - all three of us are doing better! I'm thankful for many things and most of all... I'm thankful that I'm happy again that it's Christmas.

LA :)

Where are you Christmas spirit?

2008-12-23T10:52:00.004-05:00

I am trying so very hard to get in the Christmas spirit, find the Christmas spirit... let the Christmas spirit find me!

This past year has been sooooo very difficult and trying! We've been through so much with Katie, caring for my grandmother (finding her a facility, getting her condo cleaned out and the long, long process of working with the VA and State of Tennessee to try and come up with all the necessary funds for her care), my father fighting for his life battling a horrible diagnosis, loosing my little Maggie...

Then there is the stress that the REST of the world is dealing with (not just us) that also concern us... the economy, health care (our health insurance is horrible), the status of being self-employed right now and just the overall state of EVERYTHING.

Don and I watched this "Year In Review" program last night and it was going over all the things that happened in 2008 that were really newsworthy. Whether the stories were uplifting or troubling reminders... it made me stop and realize how much I have to be thankful for. I try to remind myself daily... but it looses it's hold quicker by the day.

We scaled Christmas WAY back this year because of the economy. That isn't why I can't find joy... "buying things" is fun at Christmas but it isn't what Christmas is about.

We have a nine year old... I should be full of joy... it's CHRISTMAS! Time for singing beautiful Christmas songs that I love so much, watching great Christmas movies old and new, baking cookies... looking forward to Christmas Day with my dad, Marilyn and Gran...

But I can't seem to do it. I can't seem to grasp the joy! I wont give up... there is still 36 hours to go until Christmas morning... maybe it will happen.

LA

It's Already The Middle of December!!!

2008-12-13T11:29:00.004-05:00

I can't believe it!! We've all been sick at the same time or one at a time since before Thanksgiving... it's been so yucky!! We did manage to get our tree up last weekend... we have really scaled down our Christmas this year. Some on purpose because of the economy and some not on purpose - we've not gotten to do near what we'd hoped with friends and family because of being so sick. *sigh*

Well, we still have 11 Days, 12 Hours, 27 Minutes so hopefully we will manage to pack in some fun stuff before the big day!! :)

Visit my friend Courtney's blog and leave a comment! She's doing a really nice thing.

We spent the evening last night with Gran. It's her 86th birthday... can't believe it! We took her a new TV because her old one finally just gave out. I had to go shopping and get her all new winter clothes and a coat because she's lost so much weight - her clothes were HUGE on her. So we descended on her like an early Santa and made her so happy.

We took her to Cracker Barrel for dinner. There are not a lot of choices in Rockwood, TN. But, we told the waitress it was her 86th birthday and they brought her a BIG dessert when we finished dinner and a lot of the waitstaff and the whole section of the restaurant we were in sang happy birthday to Mary! She got tears in her eyes and blew kisses at the end. It was so sweet.

It gets harder and harder to visit though sometimes. It took her a few minutes to recognize us last night. That is hard! Once she connected though - it was fine.

When we were leaving her, the nurse, Diane was going into her room to give her the nighttime meds and Diane said "Ms. Mary - did you have fun with your family?" and I heard my grandmother's voice break and she said "Oh, gosh it was just the nicest evening... it meant so much!"

So, of course, I cried all the way out to the car. In some ways, I miss her being "here" so much... here in Knoxville. We use to talk every day... until she started getting sick and then those talks grew harder and harder. Then all we did was worry about her living alone.

Outliving your mind is not a pleasant thing!

We are fixing to make some big changes with Katie. She is really struggling in school as I stated in an earlier posting. Kids are beginning to be very cruel to her. She is learning at a good pace - that is good but she is struggling more and more in the mainstream classroom. The majority of her quality work is done when she is working in the special ed classroom in a smaller group with more individualized assistance. Cedar Bluff doesn't have a CDC classroom... basically a full time special ed classroom so she is probably going to have to change schools. She has made some good friends and all the staff at Cedar Bluff knows and loves Katie dearly so this will be a big change.

Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers. She's the bravest little girl I know! Even though she's been having such a hard time with her peers lately... she gets up every morning enthusiastic about going to school. But she told her teacher the other day that "she wished people would quit reminding her that she was a 3rd grader because sometimes her brain felt like she was still in kindergarten"... what kind of child who is struggling can be self-aware enough to make that analysis?

We just want what is best for her and what's best for her future!

LA :)

A Change Of Plans

2008-12-11T09:30:00.002-05:00

Raising Katie is a joy but it definitely comes with challenges and heartbreak. Today we will be having another meeting at her school to discuss her future. She is really struggling socially and academically being in the mainstream classroom. I'm asking for your prayers and support as we make a very difficult decision... one that will hopefully be best for Katie but it breaks my heart!

I came across the following this morning and it brought tears to my eyes because it fit how I was feeling... just keep in mind that Don and I did know that we would be raising a child with multiple special needs... we did know.

From Jan
12/3
WELCOME TO HOLLAND

c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

Sophie

2008-12-04T17:23:00.003-05:00

Well, outside of my poor husband having pneumonia now, our house is a little more sane and quiet.

We found Sophie a wonderful new home. She was never "suppose" to be with us... she was for my grandmother in North Carolina. I got her at my mom's request when their 14 year old Maltese, Molly passed away. My grandmother said NO... she didn't want another dog. We already had Sophie. We took her back because Katie was already so attached to her. So for the past two years, we've had Maggie (until this past March), Brinkley and Hogan.

For some bizarre reason, I looked at Craigslist Monday night under the "pets" section. Not that I was looking for us mind you... but there was an ad "Wanted: Cute house dog for a little girl".

Turns out that this little girl is 10 years old and lost her father a year ago. This family took in a stray dog 10 months ago and three months later the owner showed up. They were heartbroken.

The older, married sister is the one who placed the ad. We wrote emails back and forth, I sent pictures of Sophie and after being convinced that Sophie would be loved and have a good home... she went to her new home yesterday.

It was sad because we loved Sophie but we also felt sure she was going to a good home.

I got an email from the older sister this morning. They are totally in love with Sophie. She slept in bed with the younger sister last night and that is her new bed. She is being smothered with love and attention and my heart is very happy!!

LA :)

Thanksgiving Wishes

2008-11-27T11:54:00.001-05:00

Make a Smilebox greeting

Thanksgiving With Gran

2008-11-23T22:38:00.003-05:00

Victorian Square had their Thanksgiving dinner for all the residents and their families last night. It was such a nice evening! With me having gone to North Carolina and then Katie having pneumonia, we had not seen Gran in three weeks. I was so worried that she wouldn't recognize us because that has been happening lately... where it takes her a minute to register who we are. But, that wasn't the case at all!

We had a lovely evening with her and enjoyed it all. They has "Ms. Rockwood" singing hymns and her mother played the piano. It was funny because my grandmother was "Ms. Rockwood" in 1938 when she was 16 years old. She enjoyed singing the hymns and I enjoyed watching her and it brought back a lot of memories of having gone to church with her over my lifetime.

Don and I did so good sticking to our new way of eating! We are not calling it a diet because it's for the rest of our lives and who wants to be on a "diet" the rest of their lives!? We ate what we knew we could and steered clear of the rest!

Our entire weekend has been so nice! I went to a class at Scrapbooks & More with Lisa yesterday morning and it's always great hanging out with her!

Then today, I had a lesson at the farm with Mike and Belle! I learned some great new stuff! Don is going to be working with him on his new gig with the Bureau of Land Management and the mustang project. Looks like we will be going to Tunica, MS sometime the first of the year to film and photograph a mustang adoption clinic that he will be doing for the BLM. Never been to Mississippi so at least I will be able to check that state off my "never been to" list, right!?

LA :)

The Magic Bullet

2008-11-20T08:39:00.013-05:00

Isn't everyone it seems looking for "the magic bullet" or the solution to their weight loss efforts? I know I've spent my entire adult life looking for that solution. I tried every diet known to man and after reaching an astounding 333 pounds on a 5'3" frame and having suffered from high blood pressure for two years - on December 27, 2006, I had Gastric Bypass surgery. It was not the "magic bullet" and it was not the easy way out.

I had complications which were serious and they caused me emotional difficulty in adjusting to my new life. I developed a horrible gagging reflex and couldn't down food, liquid protein, etc without gagging or throwing up.

Between being in the hospital an additional two weeks and then this ongoing gagging difficulty - I dropped a dramatic 60-70 pounds the first four months. The first two months, because of being so sick, I had limited activity and lost a lot of muscle tone.

It was hard! I had to fight very hard to get in control of my life, get stronger and make this thing worth it and it took until May 2007 for me to feel like it was worth it.

And last year at Thanksgiving, I was wearing a size 14/16 depending on the clothes and I weighed 189. Everyone was constantly telling me how wonderful I looked, how proud they were of me... almost to the point that I became uncomfortable. I know that sounds odd... everyone loves compliments but I was still embarrassed at the extreme 333 I had come from.

I took my daughter to Disney for her 8th birthday and I out walked, out lasted and out played (no survivor pun there) my skinny, energetic ADHD child all over the place. We had a blast though and I did things that I never could have done before.

I was riding my horse Belle and loving EVERY second of that! It was one of the big motivators to me loosing weight!

I was kayacking in Hilton Head, hiking in the mountains, biking on the beach, boogie boarding, swimming better than ever before, walking 3 miles a day four days a week... getting tons of exercise at the farm.

Then BAM! My life got hard again. Excuses time...My dad was diagnosed with Stage IV Melanoma that spread to his lymph nodes and began the fight of his life. At this same time, my grandmother became incapable of living alone anymore and with my dad so sick, her care and sale of her home became my sole responsibility. And...

Katie is the total ADORATION of my life but every day is a fight for her or a fight with her to keep her level and on track and motivated to be more than all her medical professionals say she can be! I was trying to complete the photography program at UT and get my photography business up and going... it's totally stalled. My eBay business is totally stalled (on purpose). Thank goodness I still have quite a few bookkeeping clients, including a brand new one this week. I think I need to trim the pork off my life activities... where are those John McCain pork knives he promoted on SNL the Saturday night before the election?

So BAM! I didn't have brain surgery - I still had the same brain, same emotions and same way of thinking. I'm horrible at making excuses, putting anything health related off until tomorrow...I'm horrible at having a REALLY BAD day for whatever reason and making the solution... "I know, let's get carryout from a restaurant that has far too many calories - even if you are only eating half a portion and worst of all - eating in front of the TV... but it will make us feel better and we will relax".

I've know that I was spiraling... making excuses... "Why bust my butt to go futher? I can do anything I want to do now, I feel great, so much more healthy than 'before', I can shop for clothes in almost any store now wearing pretty nice clothes, I can wear boots without them being special ordered wide calf boots, I can ride my horse, I'm only one size larger than the average American woman, I have a hard time 'making time' to exercise and plan healthy meals, I love food too much to get to my goal and stay there, I can't get my husband motivated, blah, blah, blah!" I developed complacency and "why bother when I'm already healthier than before" attitudes.

I had tried and failed numerous times to do a 5 Day Pouch Test Diet, that essentially resets your tummy back to where it was several months post-op. I had tried and failed. I went to see my mom in NC for her birthday and she was nice enough to sacrifice her birthday to do the 5 day pouch test with me.

Well, she helped get me through the first three days and I finished up the last two. The first two are liquid and that's the really tough part. It helped drastically! Thank you so much Mom!

So, when I left for my mom's the first of November, I had gotten back up to 203. I couldn't believe that I'd let it happen. I SWORE that I would never leave "one"derland again!! Yet, there I was!! I immediately started seeing myself as before. I'd take off clothes and they looked HUMONGOUS to me!

As of this morning, I'm now back to 198... I thought it was lower but I saw my doctor yesterday and according to her scale... I probably was higher than the 203 the first of November. *sigh* Again I will say, "NEVER AGAIN WILL I BE OVER 200!!"

Making the choice to have WLS is hard. IT IS NOT THE EASY WAY OUT! It's a tool to try and regain control for people who have tried and failed. They tell you going in that it is a tool. You have to make the necessary emotional, health and lifestyle adjustments to have long term results. They tell you that the WLS will only somewhat guarantee getting 75% of your excess body weight off. That's almost exactly to the pound what it did.

Then the realization hit... "when the time came for it to become my part and my responsibility to finish the journey and hit my goal... my part failed". That was very, very hard to come to terms with.

So, very long story short, I started watching The Biggest Loser on that birthday diet weekend with my mom. I came back so motivated that I re-watched the episodes with Don until we got current with this weeks episode.

Good news is - he's more motivated than I have ever seen him! We are fixing to celebrate our 17th anniversary and we've known each other 19 years! That's a long time!!!

The even better news is - we got each other our Christmas presents 45 days early. No little package under the tree for us this year. Don's came on Friday and mine came Monday afternoon.

sorry for the long post....

We first saw these little devices on The Biggest Loser. The show never talked about them that we saw but we started searching on the internet! Bingo! Found it, researched it and ordered it!!

Man, if I would have known that an little electronic gadget would motivate my dear husband Don the way it has... I would have been searching AGES ago for this thing. Best part, it's MAC and %$#@#, I mean PC compatible. Don was at the doctor yesterday too and has lost 7+ pounds since his October 16 visit. Go Don!!

So, this thing has really opened my eyes to how truly hard it's going to be to do this and another thing... I got so use to weight literally falling off me... that is no longer going to be the case. Wearing this is a constant reminder through the day on where you are... makes you think twice before putting something in your mouth.

I wanted to set my goal at 140. My family doctor has other plans. From the beginning, before my surgery, she set it at 160 and said we'd re-evaluate then. So for now, it's 160 and it's going to take a while. My WLS surgeon put my goal at 130-140 and said I would need to have 10 pounds of skin removed. That ain't happening. I never did this to be a 41 year old model or get into a bikini... I did it to get my life back.

I'm only suppose to loose 1-1.5 pounds a week. This is going to be hard because after my WLS, good or bad, pounds just fell off me. I worked hard but nothing like I'm going to have to now! Pounds aren't going to fall off and it's going to take weeks for a five pound loss and I got use to a five pound loss being a weekly thing.

I've actually been emailing back and forth with one of the current Biggest Losers from the Families season. They have been such and inspiration and so supportive via email and a total fan of the Body Bugg and giving me tips.

I had gotten addicted, seriously addicted to Mentos.

MENTOS!!! Those stupid little candies have 10 calories each. A box has 24 pieces - translation 240 calories, not to mention the carbs and I was eating two boxes a day! ARGGHHH!!! Mindless chewing and eating while working, watching TV.... MENTOS!!!

Gum! I've got to become a gum chewer! I think that will help with my ridiculous addition to fruity candy. Before my WLS, it was Skittles! No more!!

So, the Body Bugg... you have a personal coach the first three months via phone and internet. She works with you, along with the advise of your doctor to determine your goals and how to use this little gadget.

I have not had my initial consult with her yet. They like for you to have a weeks worth of data first... so just in how I set it up after talking to my doctor... Goal is: 160 pounds by June 2009. That is a weight loss of 38 pounds at approximately 1.5 pounds a week. So, it put my caloric intake at 1600. I have to have a caloric deficit of 750 calories daily.

My Body Bugg measures my caloric burn from 6am - 11pm daily. It measures my level of activity, the steps I take, the calories that I am burning per minute at any given time and if you are good at tracking your calories via whatever method... you know exactly where you are all day long.

Right now, I'm negative. I had an Thomas Light Wheat English Muffin for breakfast with poached egg, canadian bacon and cheese, 8 oz. of water and 16 oz. of coffee (I KNOW!!!) AND a piece of Extra Sugar Free gum. The caloric intake was 284.

I walked for 20 minutes this morning, uphill all the way and I've burned 986 calories since 6am, walked 2908 steps, etc.

Your daily goals show up on your meter display. If I didn't have the meter display, I would not know until I synced with computer tonight where I stood. But, my meter shows me that my specific goals for calorie intake, calorie burn, minutes of moderate activity level, steps, etc.

So, throughout the day today, I will know exactly where I am in meeting my goals.

Yesterday was a sad, sad day of realization. I worked my butt off at the farm with Belle. I ran, I did a lot of work with her. Then I pushed myself like never before on the treadmill last night walking 3 miles and most of it at a 4.0 incline. Then I did steps and then I did pull ups using the bars on the treadmill. I burned FAR, FAR over my goal of calories to burn and walked 13,889 steps but blew it when it came to the things I put in my mouth.

I did good breakfast and lunch. At the end of lunch, I was only at 520 calories. Then, BAM! Mentos, and a chocolate carmel and pineapple filet. WHAMMY, I blew my deficit goal. I only had a deficit of 420. As hard as I worked, I should have had a deficit of 1000 and I would have had it not been for Mentos, caramel and a steak instead of chicken or fish!

Well, after the longest posting EVER... I'm done! I have appreciated the love and support so much of my family and friends the past two years with my weight loss journey and keeping a journal online. I would appreciate the ongoing support. Because even though I have this nifty little gadget, it's still going to be all up to me and I don't have the best track record.

Ending on a positive note though... I had two packages of Mentos in my car and this morning on my way to a client's - I stopped at a gas station and threw them in the trash can and went inside and got 5 calorie a piece sugarless gum.

By next summer, with Mike's wonderful help (have I mentioned how awesome he is with horses?), I intend to be riding my beautiful horse bareback. That's going to require a big improvement in my upper body strength and a HUGE strengthening of my core!

It's all about goals and today, is the start of something new! Like my new favorite song..."It's A New Day"!!

LA :)

I promise

2008-11-19T18:08:00.001-05:00

to blog tonight or in the morning about the "bugg"! I've gotten a lot of emails asking me about it!

I had a very long talk today with my family doctor! I will be blogging about that and the bugg... promise!

Thanks for the interest!

Love,
LA :)

One of my favorites got eliminated

2008-11-19T18:02:00.002-05:00

I was so sad... in tears actually! Coleen was eliminated from The Biggest Loser last night! She's 15 years younger than me but has been such an inspiration! Her determination in workouts was over the top. I will be anxious to see her progress at the season finale!!

Throwing Down The Gauntlet

2008-11-18T18:36:00.003-05:00

gaunt·let 1 also gant·let (gôntlt, gänt-)
n.
A challenge: throw down the gauntlet; take up the gauntlet.

So, here is the deal! I used this blog from December 27, 2006 until last Thanksgiving to chronicle my weight loss journey and it helped me to be accountable for loosing the 144 pounds that I lost!

But then what happened? I got into size 14/16 clothes which I had not done as an adult! I was doing things that I never thought I'd do. My trainer was telling me I was fine riding Belle at my current weight! I felt great! I still had a love for food... so why kill myself to go any further...?

Well, after a year of making excuses I am fed up with myself! I had weight loss surgery and could have died as a result of complications and yeah, I'm a heck of a lot better or now than I was two years ago... but I'm still considered obese! I may be a size 14/16 and 14 maybe the size of the average American woman but still being considered obese when I went through what I went through just wont do!

I've told friends and family for a year... if I could just get to 180 or sometimes I'd say 175... going on to say "I may make it to my goal weight but I wont stay there... I love food too much"!

ARGGHHHH!!! What is wrong with me!? Loving food too much is what put me in critical condition with complications from Gastric Bypass Surgery! Love food too much!!

So, it's taken me an entire month to get psyched - mentally! It took my mom helping me do that dog gone 5 day pouch diet (on her birthday no less) that I'd tried and failed at 5 times before. It took me getting totally hooked on The Biggest Loser and seeing their determination and dedication to truly changing their lives...

So it's on! I'm done making excuses! I will not gain weight during Thanksgiving! I will not gain weight during Christmas! I will loose weight between now and January 1, 2009. Forget New Years Resolutions! I have a "right now resolution"!!

I will exercise every day because I have total accountability again with my husband, my blog, my family, my friends and my new BUGG!

I'll blog about it (the "Bugg") tomorrow!

LA :)

Katie Is Better... Finally!

2008-11-17T20:39:00.007-05:00

She still didn't go to school today but hopefully she will be back tomorrow. Fever is gone but the cough lingers... you know with pneumonia that is typically the case!

I hate it when she is sick... especially when she is really sick. She has a harder time than the average person of fighting illness. Hopefully things are almost back to normal.

Gizmo has turned out to be such a great little cuddle buddy. He loves Katie... at least he loves Katie when she isn't trying to "make" him do something!

If she would just relax and read her books, play with her little electronic games - just hang out... this is what Gizzie does... he loves it!!

He is so lovey!! He has the loudest purr box EVER and he loves to hunt his toys and bring them to you and drop them at your feet! Thank goodness so far - it's only been toys and nothing "alive".

He has a leopard fur string with feather toy that he LOVES! The other night - Don was at a wedding and "clink, clank, noises coming up through the dark house..." It was Gizzie dragging that dog gone leopard fur toy up to our bedroom!

Turns Out...

2008-11-14T20:12:00.003-05:00

that Katie has pneumonia! Bless her heart... Dr. Y felt so bad that she didn't do an xray on Wednesday but her cough was dry and raspy then so she didn't think for a minute that it was pneumonia.

She has gotten on average... like two hours of sleep every night this week. She's exhausted and so are we. At least she is home and not in the hospital. The pneumonia is only in the bottom part of her right lung so at least it didn't get worse... because anything like this is far worse with Katie than the typical child.

She got some neat surprises delivered to her today... it really brightened her spirits. She's never gotten balloons and flowers and stuffed animals delivered except on birthdays... THANK YOU SO MUCH GUYS! It was funny - the guy from West Knox Florist called me at 3:40 and said "I have another delivery... do you think there is anyone else that may place an order for your house today?" He'd already been here earlier.

We have wonderful family and friends!

LA :)

It's WAY too early for this!!!

2008-11-12T16:34:00.003-05:00

I have one sick little girl this week!! I know I was fighting off something yucky last weekend and I took some of Don's left over antibiotics (I know, I know!) and amazingly for me - fought it off!

Not so lucky for Katie! She is sick! Yucky, coughing her head off, feels like total crap sick! She's running a fever, coughing so bad she isn't sleeping well at all... and to top it all off - she's coming off one of her "I can't sleep" cycles... so the poor kid is exhausted. She has puffy eyes and purple circles!

I want her to feel better!!

I'm already fighting a serious case of the winter blahs! That really makes me sad! It's only November 12th. Usually, I don't get the winter blahs until January, after Christmas when winter really feels like it has set in.

But, it's been cloudy and gloomy all week since Sunday and with her sick - it's just ... for lack of a better word.... YUCKY!

Such An Inspiration

2008-11-11T09:35:00.002-05:00

It took me a while to get into this show. I've been stuck for an entire year now... averaging right around 192-195. Here is one of the people who is inspiring me to get my butt in gear and get the rest of this done...

Amy P. from Greenville, SC. She showed such determination on the show and she and her husband have a young child with special needs that led to a lot of their late night "emotional eating"... I can totally identify with that hurdle.

Such A Great Day With Family

2008-11-08T18:52:00.015-05:00

Okay, so yesterday I totally felt like I was getting sick. I'm just run down because I've been going non-stop since before our trip to Key Largo - with full days every day and then I had my great trip to North Carolina last weekend.

But we had plans with Don's family this weekend and I was so determined not to miss out and I'm so glad that I took enough cold medicine and antibiotics to stay on top of it enough to have been a part of the fun last night and today!!

Mom, Joyce, Robin (Don's cousin), her fiance, David and her two sons, Blake (8) and Hunter (6) came down yesterday and we had dinner at Outback last night! Guess who picked the restaurant? Katie! You know her and those Outback Kookabura Wings! Well, she instantly hit it off with Blake and Hunter! We had a great time at dinner!

We got back together today and Joyce took the kids to Toys R Us and gave them each a little shopping spree. She let them pick out any toy (within a certain budget) that they wanted. Katie was quite thrifty and shopped the entire store and came away with four boxes of toys - she got this Animal Planet electronic encyclopedia thing that has add on's of all kinds of groups of animals!

Then Don took Joyce, Mom, Robin and David to the mall to help Joyce pick out a new computer! Guess where!? Like any good Apple junkie... the Apple store of course. Joyce now has a 20" iMac on it's way to her house.

While they went to the mall - I took the kids to the park! It was such a nice day and we had so much fun!!

Katie, Blake & Hunter had such a great time at the park. Katie was a pro at the monkey bars and that made Blake and Hunter determined to get all the way across and they did!!

I haven't been around Blake and Hunter before last night but I already just love them! They are great little guys! So well behaved and they were just great with Katie! They looked after her and treated her like a sister! She's going to enjoy having these cousins in her life!

When they got done at the mall - we met back up together at the hotel and the kids quickly changed and hit the pool! They were staying at the Holiday Inn Select which has a very nice indoor pool. That's where we spent the rest of the day! The kids swam and played their hearts out! I think GrandSue did too! ;)

Katie has a Grandmom (my mom) and Grandma (Dad's wife, Marilyn) and a Gran and she and we had been referring to Sue as Grandma Sue and I didn't like that. It sounded impersonal. But this week when we told Katie that Grandma was coming down, she said "which one". So, today Katie came up with GrandSue. And Sue seemed to like it so GrandSue it is.

I think everyone got hungry so Joyce got serious about ordering some serious food! She got like five pizzas, breadsticks, several orders of wings - a ton of food! The kids were very happy! Katie of course dove into the wings!

I think since Robin has two boys - she enjoyed being around Katie and since we have no boys - I loved being around Blake and Hunter. I'm so happy that with Sarah and Jacob half way around the world - Katie has some family in her life that is her age again!! Katie really enjoyed Robin too!

We also really enjoyed getting to know David! He has a great sense of humor and is so laid back and easy going! I'm excited for he and Robin and them starting their life together!

I am so thankful that we've moved past hard feelings and being hurt. I know that after having spent some special times together - especially now with the kids that none of us will let things separate us again in the future. Family is too important and I'm thankful that we've reconnected! It was a great weekend together and I'm looking forward to more great times very soon!

LA :)

This would be me on the bobcat!

2008-11-01T21:16:00.000-04:00

It was like learning to drive a funky stick shift all over again but I got the hang of it!!

Did I Mention The Angry Bull?

2008-11-01T21:12:00.000-04:00

This would be the beast!

Such A Great Time With My Family

2008-11-01T21:11:00.000-04:00

So, today I had a great day with my family in North Carolina. It was not easy getting here - but once I did - it was a great day! I drove a bob cat and moved a pile of dirt, I drove a big John Deere tractor AND I hung out with a VERY angry holstein bull that weighs about 2500 pounds. Good stuff!!

Seriously - these things were all fun but the best part was all the laughter!

And guess what I found out?

2008-11-01T19:39:00.000-04:00

They actually paint some of these PINK!!! :)

See, I am meant to live on a farm!

2008-11-01T16:52:00.000-04:00

Love Is...

2008-10-22T15:35:00.002-04:00

This was taken from Don's blog yesterday....

Love Is........

How do you define love? Is it something you can see? Something you can touch? Or is it just a feeling? Many say it is none of the above but merely a state of mind. I say it something you can touch, something you can see. You just have to look in the right place and open you mind. How do I know this, read on:

We are in Key Largo, FL spending a week here with Katie while she is doing dolphin assisted therapy. We did this 3 years ago and are kicking ourselves for not coming back sooner. Anyway, the first time we were here, Katie spent the week with a wonderful dolphin named Squirt and her calf Fiji. We could tell that something special was going on from the moment Katie got on the platform to get in the water. She could not wait and had no fear of being next to the dolphins.

That week was a wonderful and magical time. You could see the bond that Katie made with Squirt and the entire staff at Island Dolphin Care. The high point of the week was on Wednesday. You see, the dolphin will only do what the trainer on the platform tells them to do. They are trained that way. It is a safety issue of course. Well, half way through her time in the water that day, Katie, in loudest voice said, “I love you Squirt, you’re my best friend”. Squirt stopped in the water half way between the platform the trainer was on and where Katie was. She looked at the trainer then back to Katie. Leeann and I were confused as to what was going on, but the trainer just nodded her head yes and Squirt swam over and gave a Katie a kiss.
Not a big deal you say, well it is. You see that had only happened one, let me repeat that ONE other time at Island Dolphin Care. Everyone who saw it was in tears and when the trainer told us how special that was, Leeann and I both started to cry.
We have always said that Katie has a special connection to animals. Look at her room, it looks like stuffed animal kingdom in there sometimes. You should see her at the farm with the horses, it’s almost like she talks to them at times. But this, this was so different.

Well, that was three years ago. We had been trying for the past 3 years to go back but the timing was never right. This year everything fell into place and we were able to make it back. It worked out well since this is Katie’s fall break, so no school was missed. One thing we were worried about was if Katie would remember much about the dolphins or if the dolphins would remember Katie. We weren’t sure she would even get to be with Squirt this time. Much to our surprise, Katie remembered it all the moment she walked in the door. She remembered the tanks in the lobby, she remembered where the dolphins were at and couldn’t wait to get to them. But most of all, she was going to be with Squirt again.

Katie got in the water with Squirt and she was right at home. But the minute she said, “Squirt, I love you”, Squirt knew just who Katie was. The trainer, Wendy, looked at us and said “now I remember her and so does Squirt”. She wasn’t kidding either. It was almost like Katie was one of her own calf’s. Squirt could not get close enough to Katie. She was always checking on how Katie was doing, where she was and allowing Katie to touch her and hold her in places she won’t let others. Even the owners of the facility came out to watch and talked about the bond between Katie and Squirt.

That bond is so strong that today the trainer and the therapist in the water with Katie just let them do their own thing. Katie would ask if she could do something and the trainer would give a quick hand signal and that was it. They danced in the water together, Squirt took Katie around the lagoon a couple of times and they both laughed and smiled together. It was almost like they were meant to be with each other.

Tomorrow, they are going to allow Squirt to dive with Katie. Only two other kids have ever done this before. Katie is in here element here. Katie is truly happy here and in the water with Squirt.

I have attached a photo of the two of them dancing in the water. Look at it with the mind of a child, look at it with the mind of a parent who wants nothing but the best for their child and I know you will see LOVE. But, most of all, you will know that for this week, Katie can touch love. And for this week, love is named SQUIRT.

Island Dolphin Care

2008-10-20T21:18:00.009-04:00

It was an amazing day today! If it’s possible, I think I truly forgot how magical this experience was three years ago. We are back in Key Largo, FL at Island Dolphin Care, doing Dolphin Assisted Therapy for Katie. I don’t think this could have come at a better time either. Katie has really hit a rough patch and is really struggling.

She is struggling in school both academically and socially. She is struggling with her increasing frustration level. She is having sleep disturbances again. It’s been a tough couple of weeks leading up to this trip. We’ve been working closely with her teachers and therapists but nothing has been working.

But, once she eased into the lagoon off the floating dock today and made her first contact with Squirt, the same dolphin she swam with three years ago… nothing else in life really seem to matter that much… at least for the hour this morning.

The dolphin trainer, Wendy, is convinced that after a few minutes with Katie, that Squirt actually had recognition for Katie. Three years ago, on Wednesday, Katie told Squirt “I love you, Squirt, you are my best friend” and Squirt looked at Wendy for permission and swam over to Katie and gave her a kiss. Squirt has only done that on one other occasion.

Katie actually got to do the dorsal swim unassisted today and because Wendy is convinced of the connection between Squirt and Katie and feels that Squirt loves Katie as well… she may get to do some things unassisted this week.

Squirt had a baby calf 7 weeks ago and she’s a tiny one. They haven’t even named her yet… they actually just found out this weekend that she’s a female. Deena, one of the owners, wants to name the baby Lotus, for the Lotus Petal in Egypt and there is a whole story to that but once she told Katie the story behind the name – Katie is going to help Deena convince the rest of the staff that the baby dolphin should be named Lotus.

Don and I got to spend more time today than we did the entire week in 2005 with Peter and Deena. They are the owners and they are amazing people with an incredible, inspiring story.

We met a couple of really nice families. One from upstate New York and one from Switzerland. When we were here in 2005, we didn't meet any of the families. They weren't very open to chatting and we had Gran with us. When we got to the facility this morning, the family from Switzerland was already there and the mom seemed so nice and friendly so I walked over to her and started chatting and she said "no englis". Oh! Shoot! But then the dad started talking to me in moderately good english and so I was chatting up a storm with him. Don later informed me that he thinks the guy was just smiling and nodding at a lot of what I said in my fast, southern chatty style. Well, he was very pleasant and nice even if that was the case.

They are having a big cookout on Wednesday for the families which is something that they didn't do when we were here before so maybe we will bridge that communication barrier then! They seemed so nice!

I almost can’t even put into words how special this place is. I can’t wait to see what the rest of the week holds.

I hope some of our family will get to experience this someday. I know Katie's three grandmother's and her other great grandmother would love seeing her with the dolphins. I know my dad would love it! Anyone who loves Katie would love being here!

LA :)

PS - Here is our view out our living room or master bedroom in our condo... our condo that we got at a VERY reduced price since we are an Island Dolphin Care family. :)

Good Things Are Happening

2008-10-16T08:22:00.005-04:00

We are making a return trip to Island Dolphin Care next week. We leave tomorrow and starting Monday - Katie will have five days of Dolphin Assisted Therapy.

She went in June of 2005 and Gran went with us. It had only been seven months since my grandfather passed away and it was the last "big" trip she ever took with us. She frustrated me so many times that week but we also made some wonderful memories and it meant the world to her to see Katie do something so special.

It was that time that Katie had with those two dolphins in June 2005 that made us realize that animals are definitely Katie's real passion. She is happiest, full of joy, wonder, true focus and determination when she is working with animals.

Here is a short video clip that Don did. Couple of things - I weigh 140 pounds LESS than I did in this video... 150 if you believe that the camera adds 10! ;) That's embarrassing to admit but I'm proud of my accomplishment even though I can't seem to get this last 30-40 pounds off!

Also, he did this before becoming a professional certified Final Cut Pro editor. It will be fun to see what footage he gets this trip. Hopefully it will be some footage Island Dolphin Care can use.

Click here for the video.

Give the video a few seconds to load.

When we return from our trip - he's meeting with STAR to work with them on doing a promotional video for fundraising and marketing purposes.

Also, he's going to be working with my trainer, Mike Branch, to do some videos of him working with wild mustangs for the Bureau of Land Management.

Mike is WONDERFUL!! I can't tell you the things that I am learning from him. I thought I was loving Sunny and Belle before... it's amazing now. Sunny is still at STAR but it's remarkable the connection I have with Belle. I can get her to do things by just projecting my energy at her... natural horsemanship is the most incredible thing I've ever learned how to do... but I still have a long way to go.

Katie is doing well in school. She is working hard every day! It's a struggle and she's not really working on grade level for anything other than science and social studies but she is making a lot of progress and at the end of the day - that is what matters.

My dad and Marilyn were just here for a few days and my dad is BACK. When I saw him this past August, he was weak and frail and his personality was non-existent. His personality is back! He's feeling good! He's got a lot of energy again!! It's been a rough year for him but his last PET Scan in September still showed no signs of the cancer having spread which was THE BEST news!!

We spent a lot of time with Gran while he was here. That was good but also very hard. Her memory is continuing to decline at a rapid rate. It's like Groundhog Day, over and over again. Same questions, same statements every five minutes. She actually didn't recognize us at first when we got there to pick her up. A week ago she was calling me her niece and couldn't remember my name. But, she is happy in the moment and she is being VERY well cared for. Like with Katie, at the end of the day, that is what really matters for now.

Overall, like I said, good things are happening! Life is good and we are very blessed!

LA :)

A Game of Meme: Scattegories Edition

2008-10-08T17:54:00.004-04:00

Wanna Play? Here are the rules:

* Use the 1st letter of your name to answer each of the following questions.
* They have to be real places, names, things. nothing made up!
* You can’t use your name for the boy/girl name question.
* Tag at least 5 people to play along

1. What is your name? Leeann
2. A 4 Letter Word: Love
3. A Boys Name: Liam
4. A Girls Name: Lily
5. An Occupation: Lobbyist
6. A Color: Lilac
7. Something you wear: Lipstick (but not on a pig)
8. A Beverage: Long Island Ice Tea
9. A Food: Lasagna
10. Something found in the bathroom: Lights
11. A place: Lexington
12. A Reason for being late: Lounging
13. Something you shout: Laugh out loud (often)!!

Here are my buddies that I’m tagging…

1. Don
2. Sheila
3. Lisa
4. Lynne
5. Rose
6. Jen
7. Kathy
8. Kim
9. Richelle
10. Pam

And anyone else who wants to play. Don’t feel like you have to post this on your blog. It might easier to just cut and paste the questions and leave them as a comment. Also tag others only if you want to. :-D

I Love STAR

2008-10-07T09:02:00.000-04:00

Here is a promotional video demonstrating the benefits of a child with special needs being at STAR.

I can't tell you the difference it's made in Katie's life. Mine too!

LA :)

My Dream Home

2008-09-24T20:23:00.001-04:00

I could live here... if I could just figure out how we could swing a $465,000 mortgage.

LA :)

Can You Do It In Six Words?

2008-09-22T01:44:00.003-04:00

Describe your life, that is?

For me: More blessed than I ever deserved!

Give it a try!! Fore more, check out Larry Smith's book.

LA :)

Mending Hearts & Moving On

2008-09-14T13:25:00.006-04:00

This weekend was a wonderful weekend. Don's mother and his Aunt Joyce came down for a visit and we had a lovely visit with them on Friday night and then they went with us to take Katie to STAR on Saturday. It's been so long since we'd seen Mom and it was great being with her. Katie loved every minute of it...

I think they enjoyed seeing Katie in action with the horses at STAR. She was pretty tired on Saturday morning but still did very well.

We lost a close family friend this past week and Katie took it very hard. It affected her at school and at home and the result was she was very tired yesterday - but it was still a great day.

Once Mom and Joyce headed home, we went to visit Gran and had a nice visit with her. Her memory continues to deteriorate but she was in good spirits and it was a good visit. Katie continues to grow taller - she's 4'6 and Gran continues to shrink so they are about the same height now...

Fun At The Fair

2008-09-07T19:42:00.007-04:00

We went to the TN Valley Fair last Saturday and had so much fun! Here are some of the pictures. Katie and I were pretty excited that there was a PINK roller coaster! How funny - we had a great time riding it until I realized it was on wooden blocks! Ack!!!

Long Time... No Post

2008-09-04T10:57:00.021-04:00

Wow, I can't believe it's been a little over two months since I posted on my blog. The first part of the summer was so chaotic with getting Gran moved and settled and resources in place to help financially with her care and then getting her condo cleaned out, painted, cleaned and on the market.

I was so determined for Katie to have some summer fun because she did so much to help with the condo and with Gran. She's such a little trooper!!

We did get to do a few fun things this summer. We went to some fun movies with friends and as a family. Took in a Smokies baseball game with Katie and her friends and it was right at July 4th and there were GREAT fireworks after.

I did an amazing photography workshop with Rob Heyman. He is awesome and so talented and it was a fun two days meeting 10 other fun local photographers. Rob is from Brisbane, Australia and he and his wife did four workshops in the states. One of my favorite teachers at UT hosted the workshop in his home and it was just a great time. One fellow photographer was hilarious... reminded us all of Jim Carey in his personality and mannerisms and he kept us in stitches. Rob being from Australia has that great Australian accent and he was just so fun to listen to. I learned more from him in two days than I have at UT in 18 months.

I also got to have a little scrapbooking retreat with my dearest friend on the planet. That was in the midst of some of the hardest things I've ever done in my life so some quality time with her was definitely what the doctor ordered!! I don't know what I would do without her.

We went to North Carolina for a long weekend and Katie stayed with Mom and MomMom and Don and I got some alone time in a hotel. It was nice to visit with Mom, MomMom, Uncle Ronnie, Aunt Linda and we went out to dinner and hung out with my cousin Ronnie and his wife Stacey one night, which was a great time. The trip was great for all of us. It got us out of town at a much needed time and it was a great visit.

Katie loves spending time with my mom, MomMom and Aunt Linda. Aunt Linda is just the best with Katie. She always gets the best books, toys that are right up Katie's alley and then she plays with her. They have so much fun! She's just awesome!

Don and Katie had a lot of fun with MomMom's golf cart. The sun was too hot and too bright while we were there for MomMom to be the one out driving them around but that's what she loves to do.

We went and had a picnic with my close friend Sheila and her daughters at the Splash Park, where Katie fell and cracked her head on the concrete and then we spent the rest of the day at the doctor's office. What's childhood without some injuries though, right? Katie only remembers the fun from that day - not the scare!

And, we spent a week in St. Augustine, FL with my dad and Marilyn the week before Katie started 3rd grade. That was a mixed emotion packed week. Dad was really struggling emotionally and physically having come off that month long intensive treatment of interferon. He was to continue it at a lower dosage for 11 months but he only made it two weeks into the reduced treatment and had to stop. It was just too much for him.

I know of a 36 year old woman who was healthy before being diagnosed with stage IV melanoma just like my dad. And, just like dad, she had two surgeries and a month of radiation and then she started the month of interferon. She only made it two weeks and had to stop. It's tough stuff!

But, we did try to have some fun at the ocean. Katie has turned into such a great swimmer and her and I got boogie boards and man, did we take advantage of the awesome waves that week. We had so much fun in the ocean. I don't even think I ever had that much fun in the ocean when I was a kid.

Now Katie wants to learn how to surf. I have to loose this last 30 or so pounds so I can learn to surf with her! :)

We also did some fun touristy stuff in St. Augustine - which we fell in love with. I wouldn't mind living down there in 10 or so years.

And, Katie got to play dress up in Marilyn's wedding dress. She loved that! Marilyn is getting pictures of all five of her granddaughters in that dress and then putting them on her fireplace mantel. It's a neat idea.

When we came back from St. Augustine, something happened to my back. I had gotten knocked down right as we moved Sunny to STAR. Actually, I got knocked into the air and then landed on my ass. It hurt then and I was really sore for a few weeks back in June... but life had to go on. That's when we were finishing the condo.

But, the second night after we were back from St. Augustine, the night of Katie's first day of school, I started really hurting. Could barely move. By Wednesday, the pain was affecting my breathing and I couldn't do anything. Turns out I had/have a slipped disc and it probably stems back to that injury on the farm in June and it was aggravated by waves in the ocean, carrying suitcases, doing some things for my dad and marilyn, etc. So, I have been sleeping on the couch (not happily) since August 12th. It gets better and then I forget and do too much so it's like three steps forward, two steps back. I'm just so limited in what medicines I can take for injuries now.

Slowly but surely, I'm spending time with Belle on the new farm. It's much closer and the trainer, barn manager and boarders are all my age or older which is a nicer environment for learning. Plus, Katie has ended up with yet another grandmother like person who loves her. Now that Katie is back at STAR after our busy summer, we get to see Sunny once a week definitely. She seems to be doing well at STAR.

Katie successfully started the third grade and is working very hard. She is (after debate) doing 3rd grade level work that is modified. She just doesn't typically complete the whole assignment. If the typical student has 30 problems - Katie will do 15-20. She has her first book report to do this weekend.

Gran's memory has continued to rapidly decline. She is truly "living in the moment". She's seemingly happy, semi-pleasant but as soon as a question is out of her mouth and the question being answered, she repeats the same question - word for word. I've eased up on myself about visiting her weekly. I'm working hard to ensure that her care is paid for - Don and I have been paying the deficit and she is being well cared for. It's almost an hour down and an hour back and she has no "real" sense of time so we are only visiting her every other week now. That has taken some pressure of... but initially left me feeling guilty.

I never, never could have made it this summer with out Don. He's truly my pillar of strength. He never got overwhelmed or frustrated at me when I got overwhelmed. He did what needed to be done and never complained. He's an amazing guy and I'm glad "he's my guy". Hmmm, where have I heard that statement lately? He's been so busy with his business... busier than we ever hoped for, which is great but it was another thing to juggle this summer. Don't knock your blessings though, right?

Dad has his PET scan tomorrow and then gets the results on September 15th. Please keep him in your thoughts. If the cancer has spread, he wont be able to fight it because he's all out of fight. The interferon absolutely did him in.

Phew... I think that covered most of it. Katie did have a very in depth appointment with a neurologist this summer that I will cover in a future blog.

It's good to be blogging again.
LA :)

My latest work

2008-06-28T16:08:00.006-04:00

I've been working really hard on the last couple of photo shoots that I did. Here are links to slideshows on Midnight Magic Studio's website.

Euro Kids Boutique Photo Shoot

Adam & Allison's Engagement Photo Shoot

Rob Heyman Photo Workshop Family Photo Shoot

I'm loving this! I love working with Don. We made a great team on Wednesday night when we did the shoot for Euro Kids Boutique. He was great with the kids and I loved every minute of snapping the photos.

More later!
LA :)

What a crazy, hectic but good week!

2008-06-22T11:51:00.007-04:00

On Monday morning, I started a two-day photography workshop that one of my UT instructors, Steve Chastain, hosted with Rob Heyman from Brisbane, Australia. What a great experience this was! Great for learning - I learned soooo much! Great for my mental health because it was with 9 other great photographers - who all had great personalities and senses of humor so there was A LOT of laughter and fun. We spent the mornings learning and then mid-afternoon on both Monday and Tuesday we went out shooting with Rob and Steve.

Dad and Marilyn got here late on Monday afternoon. So, they spent the evening with us Monday and then spent the entire day in Kingston and Rockwood on Tuesday with Gran and Jack and Sue. On Tuesday, I went strait from the photo shoot that we had at Market Square and downtown Knoxville to my Tuesday night class.

I was pooped Tuesday night!!

Wednesday morning, Don took the day off and went with us down to see Gran and we took Jack and Sue, with Gran out to lunch. We had a great time! Gran got a new haircut and looked great! She is doing so well at Victorian Square! It's truly amazing! She really does consider it her new home and she's getting involved and making friends. But, her memory is still continuing to get worse. At least I don't worry about her ever waking minute anymore.

Dad looked so good from the front but his poor head... it looks so painful and bad. He has some paralysis in his face, mouth and shoulder. He is slightly disfigured but that isn't what matters... what matters is how hard he is fighting this! He brought the custom mask that he had to wear during radiation for us to see. He had to be bolted down... he's done with radiation and he starts the intensive month long - 5 days a week chemo tomorrow and then he continues on with chemo 3x a week for 11 months after that. What a journey he still has ahead of him. Please continue to keep him in your prayers!

It did her and Dad both good to spend some time together!! It did me good to have some good quality time with Dad and Marilyn and to see that they were both doing better emotionally than their last visit the end of April. I've been so worried about them both.

Then, we headed back to the condo and worked to get everything ready for the final estate sale Thursday afternoon and Friday morning. We got rid of so much more stuff!! It was a big relief... a lot of work but worth it! We met some of the neatest people - but also some that weren't so hot! I will do my best to remember the good ones... like this 83 year old couple who were both so sweet and were so very excited about the things that they got. They'd been married 63 years and just sweet good people. Boy, did they drive away with a packed pick up truck full!!

Katie went to Dr. Chris Miller, the neurologist, FINALLY this week. He really didn't tell us much we didn't know already. Katie definitely has mid-line brain abnormalities and all her "connections" are definitely not firing properly. He thought she was doing AMAZINGLY well to have the brain abnormalities that she has and encouraged us to keep challenging her to meet her maximum potential... but she will definitely struggle more as tasks become harder and more complicated with maturity.

We went to see the Smokies play on Friday night! I was so pooped but we had a fantastic time anyway! We had gotten great seats - especially for Katie's vision. But, I am still having some back problems from my last farm related injury so we ended up in the outfield on a blanket - which actually was a little more fun because we got to laugh and giggle more with Katie! It was a great night!!

Yesterday, we met more people down at the condo for moving out some big items and then we all kind of crashed yesterday afternoon. So pooped!!!

Katie is going to a friend's birthday party this afternoon at Build-A-Bear! Thank goodness it isn't Chuck-E-Cheese! YAY!!

I will post some of the work I did with Rob later today or tomorrow. I have a photoshoot scheduled this Wednesday for a local children's boutique - that should be fun!

More later!
LA :)

My Political Go To Guy

2008-06-15T15:06:00.002-04:00

My heart broke this past Friday when I learned that Tim Russert had passed away. And today, as I really started to watch news coverage and today's Meet The Press memorial show with Tom Brokaw! My dad and I talked almost every Sunday and compared notes on that Sunday's show... and the topics and guests... which usually turned into a lively conversation since my dad and I are polar opposites politically.

I'm not one to ever be very "star struck" or to think that people in entertainment or the media are overly special... however, Tim Russert was my go to guy on politics. He had iritated me a few times during this primary season, however, I continued to think that he was one of the few journalists left with strong ethics and a determination for truth and answers.

He was vibrant and his enthusiasm came through the TV. Anytime anything major was happening in politics, you better believe that I was setting my Tivo for Meet The Press.

Jon Stewart provides me with comic relief in politics and world events! Who will I turn to now for the real scoop with politics...? The election in November wont be nearly the same with Tim Russert and his little white erase board.

I called my dad today to wish him happy father's day and my dad has been emotional lately with his battle... but he really got choked up when we talked about Tim Russert passing away and the very young age of 58!

I don't know who could possibly fill his shoes!

LA :)

Our Sunny Girl Has A New Mission In Life

2008-06-09T13:42:00.004-04:00

She is now a part of the herd at STAR. We've been so very busy with Gran's care, the condo, just LIFE in 2008... we haven't been able to spend near enough time at the farm to justify the boarding expense... not to mention that Sunny and Belle haven't been getting any attention hardly.

So, we approached STAR to see if they would be interested in both Sunny and Belle because we wanted to try and keep them together! Well, they were immensely interested in Sunny because she is a big girl since she has Belgian in her and they have adult riders with special needs... some being larger and Sunny can definitely accommodate larger riders!

They went to look at Sunny a little over a week ago and they picked her up this morning. They had planned to look at Belle this morning before getting Sunny and Don had told me about what they put Sunny through when they looked at her. The rode her (obviously) but they also danced around her like Indians, flailed their arms and acted crazy. You have to remember some of the kids at STAR have behavior problems and act kind of wild...

Well, so we went out early this morning to do some preliminary work with Belle and try to get her kinks out before they got there. Belle is only five and tends to get freaked out much easier than Sunny. Again, Don and I were not communicating well and I thought he was done acting like a crazy person and I went to put my arm and hand up on Belle rubbing her back when he flailed his arms again and she knocked me over trying to get away from him.

Don said when he saw me - I was airborne - my entire body and I landed hard on my butt! At least she didn't step on me when she was trying to get away from crazy, arm flailing Don. :)

Needless to say - I'm sore AGAIN!

I have to go get my hair cut and highlighted this afternoon... that should be fun! Sitting is not very comfortable after that fall this morning.

But, Sunny made the short trip to STAR just fine. I just called to check on her and they are THRILLED to have her. They told me that she's just hanging out in her stall wondering why so many people keep coming and staring at her. She's going to be treated wonderfully - stalled, grain fed daily, turned out in the pasture at night, groomed daily... she's gonna love it. She loves attention and she's going to get a lot!!

And, since we got Belle's spookiness worked out before they arrived - she was PERFECT for them. She didn't flinch - so they are VERY interested in her. They currently have a 20 year old TN Walker that is starting to have soundness issues - so Belle will probably replace him sometime in the coming months.

They are still ours - we just don't have to pay boarding and now - at least Sunny so far - will be getting so much attention and we can see her anytime we want. Hopefully, Belle will join her soon.

More later!
LA :)

PS - Gran's Living Estate sale was a semi-success. I deposited $1100 into her account - that's the good news. All that sold seemingly was junk... that's the bad news. I guess it could also be good news. I still have a TON of furniture to sell.

Gran was doing GREAT this weekend when I visited her. She is getting involved and continuing to make friends! What a BLESSING this place turned out to be. It's amazing!

Also, Dad is having his next-to the last radiation treatment today. The radiation is going well - his recovery from the lymph node surgery is not doing so good.

Still feeling overwhelmed by junk

2008-06-03T09:09:00.003-04:00

It just keeps multiplying... Just when I feel like we are making a dent - we uncover more! Well, the dumpster is full and they are picking it up today. Who would have ever thought that there could be so much stuff in a 1500 sq. ft. condo... especially when there is so much stuff still left inside that wasn't "trash".

So, onward and upward!! I am trying to get the inside organized today - grouping all similar or like items together.

Then I will spend all day Wednesday and most of the day Thursday pricing items and then HOPEFULLY a majority of the contents will go flying out of the condo on Friday and Saturday with the Living Estate Sale.

Thank goodness I have some experience at this from having attended estate sales as a buyer! But let me tell you something - being on the seller end is not nearly as much fun! :)

Lisa - you have been a Godsend!! I'm so blessed by your friendship every day but you've been such a help and encouragement the past week!

Keep your fingers crossed for us that the sale is a success! We definitely need the money for her care until the VA benefits kick in.

LA :)

Maybe It Is All Worth It

2008-05-31T21:43:00.006-04:00

Katie and I went to go see Gran today. Don had a wedding at a beautiful B&B Inn so it was just Katie and I. We went this afternoon and took Gran to an early dinner at Cracker Barrell in Harriman and then drove around for a while and then visited with her and some of her new friends when we went back to the assisted living.

When we got there this afternoon, she was asleep but when we woke her up - she woke up with the happiest smile to see us. She started telling us all about her week. She got a little mixed up in parts - but she was happy and that was wonderful!!

Halfway through our dinner - I got very choked up. I realized that we were laughing, smiling, chatting and having so much fun and I CAN NOT TELL YOU when the last time was that I felt like that being around Gran.

I told her "I'm so glad to see you happy" and she said "I wouldn't go so far as to say that I'm happy"... whatever it takes. I said "well, I'm so glad to see you doing so good" and left it at that.

Like I said - maybe it was worth all it took to make it happen.

Don & Lisa is going to help me try to pull off having the first estate sale (living estate sale) next Friday and Saturday. We almost have all the junk and garbage removed. Now pricing the items will be hard - she has some nice antique pieces...

Katie is so tired. She has been such a trooper with all this and SUCH A BIG help as well!

Here are some pictures of her place... it's small but honestly - it's all she needs.

Dad started his radiation this week. He seems to be doing pretty well. He feels great in the early part of the day but by evening - he's hurting. He opted for the 2 1/2 week very intensive radiation instead of the more drawn out 6 week course so he only has 2 weeks left.

I went with Lisa and Sienna last night to see SATC. It was great! It was such a great movie to see with friends - it really has a great message about what matters in live - working on relationships and making them work and last!

Have a happy Sunday!
LA :)

Sometimes You Need A Good Buddy

2008-05-29T10:15:00.006-04:00

And I'm so blessed to have several!! I have wonderful friends who do kind gestures, who offer to help me with Gran's condo, offer to help take care of Katie during all this... and just being there means so much!

Lisa sent me these beautiful flowers last Saturday to lift my spirits... which they did. They even added a nice fragrance to our kitchen! :)

On other fronts, Katie is enjoying her good buddy, Gizmo! Although, he doesn't respond to Gizmo... so we have ended up calling him Gizzie! It's crazy! I'm so glad that we gave him a second chance after sending him back to his mother for a few weeks. He came back to us the Tuesday after we came home from Disney and it's working out really well. He sleeps with Katie and pals around with her when she's playing inside. He even watches Animal Planet with her as you can see by the pictures.

He pals around with both Don and I when Katie is outside, at friends or not at home. He lays with me when I'm working - just like Maggie use to. Nothing could or would ever replace Maggie - but it sure is nice having a white puff ball hanging out with us again.

Again, I feel blessed to have such great friends who have offered their love and help with all that is going on right now!!

Thank you so much!!
LA :)

One of the hardest things...

2008-05-26T09:14:00.002-04:00

I've ever had to do... is take my grandmother from her home of 25 years and move her to an assisted living yesterday.

The past several days have been exhausting physically and emotionally. Yesterday morning started off with my grandmother acting, once again, like this move to the assisted living was brand new information. She first was refusing to go. Then it progressed to "well, I will go, and let you get me checked in but then you are bringing me back home tonight"...

She's never going back to the condo because I will never go through yesterday again.

However, once we had her down there, she was surrounded by these really neat ladies, who immediately started making friends with her and doting on Katie. Katie is going to end up with seven+ great grandmother type ladies. :)

Gran and Katie went to the 2pm church service that they have while Don and I were moving everything in. Of course, the unloading was hard... it was on the complete opposite side of the building from where her room is.

We go back today at 3 to take her a few more pieces of furniture, forgotten toiletries and her plants. We didn't hang any pictures yesterday since we didn't have all the furniture, so we have to do that today too. We also promised to eat dinner with her tonight.

When we left her late yesterday, we left her in the common living room area with her new friends waiting for dinner.

This place is amazing. The staff is wonderful! It appears as though the residents (for the most part) are still so active and full of life... she will do great if she just relaxes and starts to take part.

One funny story... this one man who walked the halls the whole time we were there... kept coming up to me asking me if I was from Rock City. I would tell him that I was from Knoxville... then he would tell me where he use to eat out in Knoxville and then just walk away. This happened four times. He was the only one I met with significant memory issues.

I'm completely prepared for her to announce to me today that she's going back home. But, she's not. She's never going back home.

Jack told me last night he wants me to get the condo on the market this week. *sigh* I haven't even come up from air from this yet... we aren't even through moving her.

I'm going to try and take some pictures today once we have everything in her room in place.

Dad starts his radiation treatments Wednesday.

Happy Memorial Day!

LA :)

PLEASE HELP!!

2008-05-21T17:13:00.002-04:00

All of my friends know me and know that asking for help isn't something that comes easy for me... but I'm doing it!

PLEASE HELP!!

I got Gran into Victorian Square, a very nice assisted living facility in Rockwood, TN. I'm not thrilled about it being 38 miles away but the cost was much more workable than any facility in Knoxville. We are moving her this Sunday, May 25th.

Here is where I need help. My grandmother has a small condo - maybe 1200 square feet but probably smaller. My grandmother is a PACK RAT! We've tried to de-junk the house periodically over the past several years but you know how it works with a pack rat... the stuff we removed was quickly replaced.

Don and I are going to get one of those dumpsters outside her condo and de-junk the place as quickly as possible. Don is slammed over the next several weeks with weddings and bookings, so his time is very limited.

I need help de-junking, pricing items for a living estate sale because I will probably have to have two - a Friday/Saturday sale on two different weekends in June.

So, I need help with de-junking, getting items ready for the living estate sale (pricing, cleaned, etc) and then getting the condo ready to be on the market by the end of June. I have to get this done because the funds are not there to maintain the expenses of the condo and have her at Victorian Square.

I will be working on this full-time except for Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday's so any help would be SOOOOO appreciated!!!

LA :)

Some Disney Favorites

2008-05-14T21:41:00.001-04:00

Back from Disney & Update

2008-05-14T20:22:00.002-04:00

Well, we had a great time last week for the most part. We came home with some wonderful memories!! But, next time, we will plan more carefully. It was so dang hot... the last day - the heat index was 103 and it was so crowded. It isn't suppose to be that crowded until mid-May but Don and I noticed that there were A LOT of non-english speaking people and then we realized... weak dollar + lots of tourism from overseas...

So, major heat for the first of May AND massive people overload.

We did meet some very nice people and the Disney people were WONDERFUL to Katie. It's definitely a great place to vacation if you have a child with disabilities if you plan it right.

Other notations... my dad had his surgery yesterday. Marilyn didn't want me to come for the surgery - she thinks it is much more important for me to visit during his radiation and chemo. He did great for the surgery. He was suppose to stay in the hospital up to three days and he is already home. He is going to have to have rehab therapy because they damaged a nerve when removing the lymph nodes (this was unavoidable and known ahead of time) and he has some paralysis in his face and mouth. Unfortunately, the surgeon thinks he removed another melanoma that had developed right at his ear. If it comes back positive, that is not good. However, he didn't think any of the 75+ lymph nodes were suspicious looking. My dad will have daily home health care until his follow up appointments next Thursday.

This doctor is a spiritual man and he told Marilyn frankly yesterday that his chances for five year survival were not that good. He said that "that is the science and medical perspective". He said that God is ultimately in control and that Dad wont go anywhere until it's his time. Marilyn is such a strong woman and this is twice now that she completely came apart on the phone with me post-surgery that I wished so bad that I had been with her.

But she is better now. She told me that even though she is very close to her two sons and her father, she doesn't feel like she can unravel with them the way she has with me. I wish I could do more to help her and my dad.

Katie - we had a meeting at her school yesterday to plan her year for next year. She is going to continue to be mainstreamed with increased resource time. That was a very, very tough decision and I completely came apart after the meeting. Everyone loves Katie and we are soooo blessed to have the people in her life that we do... I can't say that enough but school is growing increasingly more difficult for her. However, the CDC (comprehensive development classroom) supervisor was in the meeting and when we told her that we felt like Katie was where she is now because she's been challenged and we were worried that moving her to a CDC classroom would result in her not being challenged and she agreed... that cinched our decision.

GRAN - boy, is it ever continuing to deteriorate rapidly. Her memory. She's not eating well at all. Her color doesn't look good. She's very depressed. With Jack's help - I have found an assisted living facility that also has an alzheimer's unit in Rockwood, TN. That is where Gran grew up. It's 38 miles from us but it's only 6 miles from Jack and Sue, who live in Kingston and she has other extended family in Kingston.

The facility is Victorian Square. She would have a private room. That is huge!!! It cost $1850 a month, which is amazing because all the facilities in Knoxville are $3,000+ monthly. The administrator put me in touch with her contact at the local VA office and I have a meeting with him scheduled for Monday at 8am. He sounds so nice - a great sense of humor. Based on what I told him, she may qualify for up to $800 a month in survivor benefits since my grandfather served during the war. If she does, then with her small social security and pension - she will have just enough to cover the expense.

So, Don, myself, Jack and Sue are taking Gran there on Friday for lunch and for them to do an assessment on Gran. Her memory has gotten so bad that she's been forgetting her last name, Dad's name, where she got married, that I live in Knoxville (she thinks I still live up north and wants me to move here...) - the list goes on and on.

I think Jennifer, who helps us through the week and then cleans 2x a month has about reached the end of her rope. She's grown to care about Gran a lot but Gran is wearing everyone out right now. She calls me 5-10 times a day crying.

Then, the realization hits about what is in store once we get her moved. Her condo. I can't even begin to imagine what that is going to be like... and it will have to be done quickly because the funds aren't there to pay for the assisted living AND maintain the utilities, homeowners, etc on the condo.

Don is SWAMPED right now. He's got work coming out his ears, which is wonderful but he is very busy!

I've got two new clients. I've pretty much stalled eBay altogether for now. I dropped one of my summer photography classes at UT but I still have my current Fundamentals that has two weeks left and then one class in June and July.

I need to go visit my family in NC. I have a trip to Nashville planned mid-June that is already paid for so I have to go. I need to visit Dad twice this summer. Kim is coming home from Kuwait in July and I want to spend more time with her this summer. I had to turn down a job photographing children for a local boutique - which killed me because that is exactly what I want to do... but there is only one me and too many commitments right now. I also had to turn down a wedding at UT last weekend since we were out of town. The brides photographer bailed on her two weeks before the wedding and she got my name from one of my instructors.

When it rains it pours...

Please continue to keep my dad and Gran in your prayers. Also us three - for strength, patience, making the right decisions...

LA :)

Magic Kingdom is Magical!!

2008-05-08T20:14:00.016-04:00

We had a blast!! You have to keep in mind that we have to be careful not to over do it with Katie - especially in the heat and it was SOOO hot today. It was like 92 - but at least it was breezy.

We actually took a cab to Magic Kingdom from the hotel because the line was maybe 4 bus loads long and it was already 10am and the buses only run every 20 minutes.

It ended up being a pretty neat thing to do because the cab dropped us off at the ferry and monorail launch so we took the ferry. Very neat way to approach the park.

We did so much more today at Magic Kingdom than we did last year. Last year was truly magical because Katie got to go inside Cinderella's castle and meet all the princesses and princes... but we did A LOT today.

We started off in Tomorrowland riding the Astro Orbitor, which Katie loves because she's flying an airplane. Then we did Buzz Lightyear's Space Ranger Spin, which Don and Katie love doing together. Then we hit the Monster's Inc Laugh Floor - it was hilarious - we all laughed and had a great time. Then, Stitch's Great Escape (don't bother).

Before leaving Tomorrowland, we had to hit the Indy Speedway, where Katie again, gave me whiplash and enjoyed every minute of it. We did this twice - without having to get off. I love DISNEY! They are great to people with disabilities.

Then we started making our way to other areas of the park and we came across the horse drawn trolley. Katie wanted to go see the horse, of course. You know she doesn't get nearly enough interaction with horses in her every day life...

Well, the lady working with the horse told Katie that she couldn't touch the horse because he was working. After talking to Katie for two minutes, she was letting Katie touch the horse and act like she was driving the trolley. It was a beautiful Percheron Draft. Katie just has a way of touching peoples hearts.

We stopped and had a nice lunch at Liberty Tree Tavern and then headed off and did the Pirates of the Carribean, Big Thunder Mountain 2x, It's A Small World, Peter Pan's Flight, Mickey's Philharmagic and then Dumbo. Lastly, we did Snow White's Scary Adventure, which Katie loved and we did it twice. Probably nightmares will ensue tonight!

Here are a few pics from the day!!

It seems as though we are heading back to Animal Kingdom tomorrow to focus on the other side of the park. The safari, the jungle walk, the petting zoo, the Lion King show, etc. It's suppose to be 93 and very humid and at least Animal Kingdom is almost all shade.

More tomorrow...

LA :)

Animal Kingdom Is AWESOME!!

2008-05-07T20:30:00.008-04:00

We spent 3/4 of the day today at Animal Kingdom. We had planned to be there all day today but it was HOT!! It was 89 and very humid and it's only get hotter this week... Katie just can't handle a full day in those temperatures. The good news is - Animal Kingdom has so much shade that really helps.

We started off in DinoLand - just like last year. We rode Dinosaur twice and Katie loved, loved, loved it!! We then rode Primal Twirl... I think that's the name. It's almost my favorite... it makes me laugh so hard that I cry! My laughing makes Katie laugh and the fun is just contagious.

Be careful what you wish for... I've always wished that sometimes you could just stay on your favorite ride and not have to go back through the line... which is REALLY bad of me when we have this pass for Katie... but anyway, we were on the Primal Twirly ride for the second time and when we came back around - they pegged Katie for a "free ride" and we got to go again without getting off. That's the neat good news. The bad news is... I discovered that getting off a ride like that, walking the exit and getting back in line gives your body a chance to re-acclimate with reality. Staying on... let's just say, we all were a little loopy after that third ride! :) But it was still great fun!!

Then we headed to Expedition Everest...

the ride Katie has talked about all year since riding it four times last year. This right here is where I have to say that Disney is just amazing! For the second year, we provided a note to Guest Relations from Katie's pediatrician stating that she has medical conditions that prevent her from being in the heat for extended periods of time - in addition to ADHD and vision impairment. They give us a pass to use at the Fast Pass entrances and then give Katie preferential seating when available at shows, etc.

At Expedition Everest, the normal wait today was 45 minutes. Because of Katie's pass, we rode it five times in 40 minutes. I feel a little bad about that... but there is no way in today's heat that Katie could have withstood the 45 minute wait for one ride.

Plus, all the Disney cast members are sooooo very nice to Katie.

We called it a day at 1pm by eating lunch at GUESS WHERE!!!? The jungle place... as Katie calls it. The Rain Forest Cafe.

Then we came back to the hotel where I had 20 missed calls on my cell, 10 voice mails and a dead phone battery. Chaos ensued. Gran had a plumbing catastrophe that my Uncle Jack had to help her with. According to my dad tonight, Jack now sees what we've been trying to tell people about with her memory. She had lunch with a dear extended member of the family yesterday and she couldn't tell Jack today who it was... she thought it was a neighbor. It was Charlotte Ann... someone that Gran has known and loved since she was 25.

Additionally, the plumbing catastrophe apparently was fixed by Cedar Bluff Plumbing, but it caused Jack and Sue to really get a much better idea of how Gran is living. He's mad that he didn't listen to us sooner.

Jack is going to some facilities that I've already talked to in Kingston this week. I was told waiting list, private pay, no medicaid, she wouldn't qualify, blah, blah, blah. But, he is Jack Muecke and Jack Muecke gets things done in Kingston. We will see!

We then jumped in the "quiet" pool here at the Pop Century. Katie, bless her heart, was so patient during our 40 minute wait to go to the pool... while I dealt with Dad and Jennifer and my messages.

Katie was a lot happier at the pool than she appeared in this picture... :)

The pool felt great!!

Tomorrow, I think we are going to Magic Kingdom.

More then....

LA :)

Katie's Birthday Disney Tradition Has Begun

2008-05-06T22:07:00.010-04:00

So, this is the second year that we are celebrating her birthday at Disney and I do believe it might be a tradition. Actually, I think Katie is on course to have the longest birthday celebrations of anyone I know.

I know we tend to spoil Katie a little too much... but she is truly a special child. Even the professionals in her life - teachers, doctors, etc... say that she is the bravest, most determined child they have ever encountered. She gives life 110% at all times.

We celebrated her birthday in the mountains with Gran, Dad and Marilyn on April 26th and we ate at Logan's Roadhouse and they brought the roof down singing happy birthday to her with a big desert.

Then Katie and I took Gran to Outback on Katie's actual birthday last Saturday and again, they sang happy birthday to her and made a big deal.

Well, when we arrived at our hotel this afternoon, they gave Katie a pin to wear during her stay that says "It's My Birthday" and any Disney employee or cast member sees this button and promptly says "Happy Birthday Katie"!

THEN, Katie and I are going to North Carolina in a week or so and we are going to celebrate her birthday with our family there!! Longest birthday celebration EVER! Needless to say - she isn't having a "party" this year! ;)

We had a good trip today. We got here about 4:30 and checked in and headed off to Downtown Disney. We went to the Rainforest Cafe to get our names on the list thinking there would be an hour+ wait... NOPE! 20 minutes, which we easily killed shopping in their gift shop.

Katie was entralled at this place. I'm telling you - she's going to be a naturalist, a park ranger, a vet assistant... ANYTHING with animals. Actually, we are planning to spend TWO days at Animal Kingdom.

Don and Katie had a lot of fun in the store at TRFC finding neat things to play with.

After we ate our dinner in Katie's new favorite restaraunt, they brought her the biggest desert EVER!!!

We shopped a little in some of the stores... we got our traditional "we've been here" Christmas ornament. We try to collect Christmas ornaments whenever we take a trip... then when we decorate our tree each year... it's a neat way of remembering.

Anyway - Good Times!! We are off to Animal Kingdom tomorrow, I believe!

Katie will be in her element!!

LA :)

PS - It was painful for me taking pictures tonight with my digital point and shoot. It will be interesting tomorrow going around Animal Kingdom with a real camera.

Mystery Solved & Other Updates

2008-05-04T22:39:00.006-04:00

Well, we didn't have a visit from the lawn mower fairy after all. When Don went to get the paper today, there was an invoice in our mail box from a lawn service for $50 for mowing and weeding. It was addressed to our neighbor at 616 EAST and we are 616 WEST. Don has left the man a message. We will see what happens. I don't think we should pay for his error but it was also one less thing for us to worry about before our trip... so maybe a compromised payment...

Well, Dad and Marilyn were here for almost a week and it was great having them here. It was wonderful to see dad, even though he has that turbin bandage, he looks so much better than I was prepared for. His spirits were pretty good. Marilyn is a little wobbly... she is having a tough time. She is upbeat with Dad but when he leaves the room, she falters and chokes up. I wish I could be more help to her.

Dad's next surgery is May 13th and then his radiation starts 56 days after that. Then he will start chemo. Sometime between the radiation and the chemo, he will have another PET scan just to be sure that nothing else is showing up.

Gran's memory has taken a serious turn downward the past two weeks. She kept asking Dad, "son, what happened to your head?" At first, they would explain all over again and finally Dad just started saying, "I got hurt, mom". She doesn't remember that I live in Knoxville, she thinks I live "up north". She wants to go see that lady that handles her money and pays her bills so she can get some money to take everyone out for dinner... THAT LADY is me! :( She is finally saying that she thinks she wants to go live in a nursing home because through the week, between work, Katie's school, after school activities, drs. appointments and my night classes... we don't see her much and she says on those days, she is so lonely. She will call me crying because she is so lonely. Jennifer, the gal we pay through the week - is so very kind and she will spend a good deal of time with her in the evenings. Her neighbors check on her - even though she doesn't know their names anymore.

I have conversations with her daily now that are like Groundhog Day... over and over again, around in a circle... she can't remember things from two minutes ago. We took her to Dr. Jackson when Dad was here and Dr. Jackson increased her Namenda (the medicine to slow Alzheimer's progression)... but I haven't seen a benefit - if anything - it's gotten worse.

Don did his first Catholic wedding yesterday. It went great! Great couple and Eli, the guy that is helping Don is just doing great! Everything is GREAT! :)

So, Katie and I went shopping for Gran and then took her out to dinner. Katie was very flustered at how bad Gran's memory is but they still had a great evening together. Yesterday was Katie's 9th birthday!! I can't believe she is 9!! Last year in the single digits!!

It's horrible timing for us to be going to Disney but it's paid for, it's been planned since December and we are going. I have several people lined up - including Uncle Jack - to visit her and check in on her.

Then, when I get back, we will start looking into nursing homes again.

Tomorrow will be a very hectic day. We are essentially packed and that is a good think because Katie goes to school, I go to work, Don will be working, then Katie has a doctor appointment at 3pm, then I have my first portrait class tomorrow night... We leave Tuesday morning at 9am.

I'll be blogging while we are gone... especially since it helps me remember things for journaling in my scrapbooks.

LA :)

Lawn Mower Fairy?

2008-05-02T21:42:00.003-04:00

See Don's blog...

Crazy busy getting things in line to be gone for a week (almost)! I'll post pictures while we are hanging out with Mickey & Friends next week!

LA :)

Apparently, I'm a tough gal

2008-04-26T08:28:00.003-04:00

LOL! Fun quiz if you are a fan of LOST!! I love Elizabeth Mitchell and I love her character Juliet. I don't mind one bit that this silly little quiz said I was most like her! :) Oh, except for one thing... Don took it and it said that he was most like Charlie... Charlie is now dead and Charlie and Juliet would have never ended up together on or off screen... oh well! Silly quiz!

Happy Saturday!

LA :)

Which Lost Character Are You?

More on Lost. Created by BuddyTV

Almost Three Down...

2008-04-23T21:54:00.005-04:00

and three to go. I finished my Location Photography class tonight. I was actually a little sad... I've enjoyed it and I've learned a LOT about composition and learning to look for subjects other than the obvious. I have to complete the Fundamentals class (halfway done) and then take three more electives and I'll have my photography certificate! :) YAY! I'm not just doing this for that certificate though... I'm really enjoying learning!

I SOOOOOO want to take my Rebel to Disney. I'd never take my 40D but even my Rebel would be so cumbersome. If I was a spectator, like I was 142 pounds ago... I'd take my Rebel and get lost in the photography but I am soooo looking forward to riding rides with Katie and giggling and enjoying every moment. No matter how much you love photography - sometimes you have to enjoy the moment.

Last week at the farm, I missed some great, no FANTASTIC shots of Sunny kicking and bucking. She was going nuts with Spring Fever... and I just stood there with my mouth open and my camera aimed at the ground. I could have gotten some great shots - but I would have missed the feeling I got watching her. Same thing with Disney - if I take one of my "real" cameras - I'll get wrapped up in that and miss the "real moments" with Katie and Don.

Anyway, here are some of my shots from Cades Cove this past Saturday. My Fundamentals class is suppose to go to Cades Cove this Saturday... man! Tremont two weeks ago and then Cades Cove back to back Saturdays. Dad and Marilyn will be here this weekend so we will have to see...

This was actually my biggest "wow" picture of the whole class. I don't know that it was my favorite but everyone seemed to like it. :)

I got a lot of pictures of deer... I got really close to some. But, I was so excited, because I've never been close to Bambi before, that I didn't realize that my shutter speed was set too low and they were WAY overexposed. Cute shots that were not fixable. :(

Consensus was this should have been cropped tighter.

More later! :)

Tremont Location Shoot

2008-04-20T07:19:00.010-04:00

Here are some of my pictures from the Tremont Photo Shoot on April 12, 2008. Yesterday, we went to Cades Cove. I think I go back to Cades Cove next Saturday as well. Dad and Marilyn will be here so we may make a family day out of it. I got really close to some deer yesterday. I'll post those pictures mid-week.

I didn't go to my class Wednesday night because I was getting a Gizmo. I emailed these pics to the instructor but don't have feedback yet.

Did you see the ant on the bottom yellow flower? :) Click on the photo to enlarge it...

It Just Wasn't Meant To Be

2008-04-19T16:52:00.001-04:00

Gizmo went back to the breeders this morning before I headed to Cades Cove. He is the sweetest little guy and Katie and I are sad - Don is too a little - but he left his mom too young. He was only 6 weeks old and he wasn't completely weaned apparently and he wasn't using the litter box.

The breeder told us that she'd hold him for us for a week if we want to try it again once he's matured a little. We will see... but I doubt it.

Katie knows how much he was missing his mom and I'm really proud of the fact that she was concerned for him instead of just sad for herself.

We have three dogs. I guess we need to keep it at that. I just miss an affectionate white fluff ball... nothing will ever replace Maggie but Gizmo was giving an awful lot of love.

LA :(

Who'd Ever Think A Gizmo Would Be Calming?

2008-04-18T22:11:00.006-04:00

I had a panic attack this morning! I woke up thinking "what have we (I) done?" As cute as Gizmo is, I came close to taking him back to the breeder today. Don actually, the one who didn't want a cat, talked me into giving it a few more days. I think we got him too early... he wasn't completely weaned from his mom and the breeder assured us that he was eating kitten chow... but I've had to hand feed him practically. He has cried constantly - unless one of us is on the floor with him.

But then, calmer times prevailed. We've really been having some rough afternoons with Katie recently. She is trying sooooo hard in school but it's really starting to take a toll on her. She has so much determination and doesn't want special treatment or accomodations - but in reality - it takes her longer to do almost everything. So she comes home exhausted and frustrated.

Spending time outside with the dogs always helps... but of course, that isn't always an option. Today was a perfect day to be outside, but Katie spent the entire afternoon with Gizmo. She was calm - so was Gizmo. She was focused, responsible for his care and she was following directions wonderfully. Not to mention, she had so much fun playing with the cute little guy!

Additionally, not sure if it has anything to do with Gizmo, but Katie just in the past day or so has developed a sense of humor. Katie is so serious and analytical - sarcasim and most humor has always escaped her. But, it's like someone flipped a switch in her and she's been getting my silly jokes, she's been making jokes... it's been great!

So, we will give it some time. Gizmo was super cuddly and affectionate today... just seems like he's got some seperation anxiety. Just what we needed... a kitty who needs meds... :)

Don got his new Canon XL2 yesterday. So today, we went to the UT Trial Gardens and Market Square so he could just shoot and get some practice... and I worked on some assignments. It was a great day... except for the brilliantly bright sun. High noon... I had a lot of pictures that were overexposed. *sigh*

Although, I did get some neat shots of some bees enjoying the fragrant flowers. :)

So, tomorrow it's to Cades Cove. In the rain. Don and Katie are going to go with me. Other students brought friends, husband or boyfriend and a daughter last Saturday to Tremont... so we are going to make a day of it in the mountains...

If Katie can stand to be away from Gizmo that long.

Oh, and by the way, slowly but surely, the dogs and Gizmo seem to be getting use to each other. Maybe it wasn't the wrong thing to do after all.

We will see.

I feel like I'm back in high school

2008-04-17T23:22:00.003-04:00

So tonight, I was really enjoying my fundamentals class and we took our normal half-way through break and when we came back into class, I was talking to my new friend Emily and instructor says "when Leeann stops chatting, we will resume our class". Whatever!! My face turned read, my ears felt like they were on fire... he had given no indication he was "resuming"... or I wouldn't have been chatting. You KNOW I LOVE to chat but I've never been a disruptive student.

My friend who took the class last semester said that she didn't care for him at all - she's from the west coast and pretty liberal and she thought he was a male chauvinist. I tried to keep and open mind... well tonight it closed.

I always get to class early because I enjoy the pre-class chatting and stuff. Well, tonight, he offered to give some "one on one" instruction on overexposure and underexposure. So, another gal and I were the only ones interested in doing it...so we began. He was flying through the exercise and then he got annoyed that we were not going fast enough and really abrubtly said "thanks girls, for turning a 30 second exercise into a 10 minute ordeal..."

I think somebody needs a xanax and I already had mine for the day!

LA :)

Wacky Wednesday

2008-04-16T22:25:00.002-04:00

Well, there is never a dull moment in our lives, that is for certain! We had the hearing this morning in chancery court for me to have a conservatorship for Gran. What an experience that was. Chancellor Fansler was the judge... he finalized Katie's adoption eight years ago. Everything went well for the most part and the judge signed off on it.

Then we had to take Gran to the doctor for her B12 shot. I hope I can start giving her those because we waited almost an hour for her to just get a shot.

It was a beautiful spring day and I had a lot of work to do but also a lot of errands. Inside at the computer or outside with the sunroof open, good tunes on the radio, lunch with my husband and errands... which do you think I did! :)

Our last stop was Home Depot to get prices on some landscaping items we are going to be buying in the coming month. We came around the corner from the garden area and there was a lady that had a dog that looked JUST LIKE MAGGIE. I started crying! Thank goodness for sunglasses!!

I cried off and on all the way to Katie's school. When we got home, I started looking online at dog and cat breeds. We really didn't want to have another dog. No dog could ever replace Maggie.

It's been a month since we lost Maggie and just in the past few days - I had finally stopped crying daily. I knew the past 16 months that Maggie's time with us wasn't going to be much longer and so I thought I was prepared and ready to loose her. That was SOOOO not the case. I've missed her terribly.

I'm use to doing so much work on my laptop and was use to her being right there with me. If I was doing laundry, she was right there with me. If I took a nap - she was HAPPILY right there with me... it's been so much harder than I ever thought it would be.

Katie has been wanting a cat forever! She loves, loves, loves the cats at the farm. They seriously compete for her attention with the horses.

I loved my black persian cat, Smoky that I had years ago and I started researching the Himalayan's online and fell in love with the Blue Point Himalayans. This is the description of their traits and personality characteristics:

In personality, the Himalayan is a friendly, affectionate and mischievous cat. Easy going, gentle and friendly with humans and other pet animals, a Himalayan makes an adaptable pet. They are extremely playful cats always in the middle of all their human's activities, and express themselves with a wonderful melodious voice. Their quiet disposition, sweet pansy-faced expression and appealing blue eyes have make the Himalayan one of the most beloved of all pedigree cats. Himalayan owners find the breed irresistible and usually have more than one Himmie in their household.

Just so happens that I found a lady in Oliver Springs that breeds them and she had four kittens and one was a blue point himalayan.

Guess who joined our family tonight? Isn't he cute?

I always thought Don and I were going to have several children. Our hearts could not be more full of love for Katie than they are... but we can't have any more, adopted or otherwise. It just wouldn't be fair to Katie - or to us - since we don't have family in town other than Gran. So, we have animals. It benefits us AND Katie!

Any suggestions for names? Katie loves the name Gizmo, Don likes Coda and I like Ozzie and Oliver.

LA :)

"Some Believe In Destiny, Some Believe In Fate

2008-04-13T09:54:00.005-04:00

...I believe that happiness is something we create"!!! That was just a brief snippet of the words we sang last night at the top of our lungs while we danced and had so much fun at the Sugarland concert. We went with Rick and Lisa and had a great time. I've always loved Sugarland... even before most people knew who they were.

The opening act was Little Big Town and I didn't even think I knew who they were but I definitely recognized some of their stuff and even really started liking them. They have a slightly country twist on a Fleetwood Mac style sound.

Actually, Sugarland brought Little Big Town out on the stage at the end and they did "You Can Go Your Own Way"... and then they did Def Leopard's "Pour Some Sugar On Me"...lol! It was fun.

We had seats that were really high at the right hand corner of the stage but I loved it. We could see everything! It was at the coliseum which has sound so much better than Thompson Boling... had it been at TB, we probably would not have gone!

Taxes are almost completely done! So, today I am going to reopen my eBay store and list a lot of things to get spending money for Disney!! Twenty Eight - 28 days!! YAY! I'm ready for some "reality escape"! I think we all are!

Have a Happy Sunday!!
LA :)

TGIF

2008-04-11T21:58:00.006-04:00

I was very happy to see Friday arrive. It's been a long, long week. By last night, in my Fundamentals class, I was really struggling to focus and pay attention... drinking warm Diet Dr. Pepper to just get the caffeine boost to stay awake. I know it's been a very hard week for my aunt, after loosing her brother and I hope to see her again over this weekend. There were SOOOO many people at the funeral home on Wednesday evening. I got there at 5:03pm and it started at 5p... there was already an hour wait to see the family.

I started my TGIF by having breakfast this morning at IHOP with five other moms. My friend Sheila invited me. It's a group of women (normally larger group) that get together every 4-6 weeks for breakfast and they all have a child with special needs. It was a lot of fun... there was a lot of laughter. I ALWAYS laugh and have fun with Sheila but it was fun being in a group with a lot of laughter. It also helps to hear other mom's talk about their struggles and or happy moments - BOTH really. I look forward to the next breakfast.

Then I went shopping for spring clothes. Still in a 14 or 16 depending on where I shop. If it is expensive - I can wear a 14 but if it's cheap - sometimes a 16 is a squeeze.

I've still not lost one more pound. I went up one pound but have lost that. *sigh* I'm just trying to take one day at a time.

Dad's lymph node removal surgery is scheduled for May 13th. He will need to heal from that for a few weeks and then start the radiation and then move on to the interferon (chemo). He had a good appointment with his surgical oncologist yesterday and his spirits are pretty good. I'm so proud of how he's come to terms with this and that he did opt with the more aggressive treatment plan... it was iffy for a week or so. He and Marilyn are going to come over for a few days at the end of April before all this starts. I'm going to go over some this summer while he's doing the radiation and chemo. I offered to go for the surgery but Marilyn thinks he will appreciate and need the visits more when he's going through the treatment.

Well, I loved the photo shoot last weekend at Market Square but I got hit hard for the critique session on Wednesday night. I'm going to post a few of the photos. Don helped me pick the five to take to class... and Don's got a great eye. But, there were similar shots of some of my favorites by other students and the instructor LOVED those photos...

Oh well. Everyone's style and taste is different. I'm learning so much about composition and style, from the critiques on my photos and other peoples good shots and bad. I'm learning my new Canon 40D inside an out, which is very cool. I'm meeting new people and making some new friends.

This was the only photo that my instructor liked. Several people took pictures of this dancer statue but he did seem to really like this one... but nothing else.

I enjoyed being in Market Square and going down Gay Street and then into the Old City. Knoxville is going a great job of improving the downtown area. It's taken a LONG time but it is finally paying off.

Tomorrow, I'm off to Treemont for the photo shoot. Then, tomorrow night we are going to see Sugarland with Rick and Lisa. Really looking forward to that! :)

More later!
LA :)

Nothing Can Be Certain Except For Death & Taxes

2008-04-06T21:39:00.002-04:00

Who said that? Benjamin Franklin, I believe... well, it's true. It's that time of year and truth be told - taxes stink! The tax code definitely needs overhaul and I don't know how accountants do it. I only worry about our taxes - the stuff we give to our CPA and the pre-tax work I do for a client. And I loath it! Hate it! Can't imagine it consuming my life more than it does.

Death! My Aunt Linda, who I love so much, lost her younger brother, her only remaining brother today. He and his wife, his high school sweetheart, live in East Tennessee as well and today was a beautiful, warm, sunny spring day. So, he went out to enjoy the day, mow the lawn and do some work. Massive heart attack and now he's gone. He was such a nice, nice person. So full of life, laughter and vibrancy. Aunt Linda lost her youngest brother last June after a long battle with cancer. She didn't take the news today very well at all. Her and my uncle are on their way here tonight.

I knew him, not well, but the time I was around him - such a great guy! It's just sad for my aunt and the rest of his family. So sudden, no time to prepare - no goodbye... he's just gone.

Although, there is a blessing in that. I think. After what has been happening with Dad and watching Gran out live her mind... I think that there is truly a blessing in just going. One minute you are here... the next you are in heaven (hopefully).

I have such a strong faith in God and my eternal life. But, I have to be honest, the past months have rattled my faith a little. Actually, going back to when Grandad first got sick and was in a nursing home for a while... and there were so many elderly patients who didn't know where they were, so sick, laying in the hallways, the smell... and this is just a tiny corner of the not so glamorous side of life. What about children starving to death... people that die tragic drawn out painful deaths... It is just hard in my "humanness" to understand.

I guess there are some things that we will never get our minds wrapped around in this life. Hopefully, one day, it will all make sense.

I hope it will.

LA

Thank Goodness for Photography

2008-04-05T17:43:00.010-04:00

"Your photography is a record of your living, for anyone who really sees.” Paul Strand

I may not be an excellent photographer but I sure enjoy it. My real passion as I'm sure you all know is taking photographs of people, more specifically children, mainly Katie and horses and other animals.

I am loving my classes at UT and I'm working on completing the UT Photography Certificate Program. Last semester I took Advanced Photoshop and loved it! This semester, I'm taking Location Photography with Lynn Freeny who is the official photographer for the Department of Energy and an instructor for Pellissippi and UT. This is a Wednesday night class with a location photo shoot field trip every Saturday morning. Last Saturday, we went to Maryville and this Saturday we went to Market Square. Next Saturday, we are going to Hoopers Bald Trail Head on the Cherhola Skyway in Western North Carolina and the Saturday after that - Cades Cove.

We take photos as if we were given an assignment to promote the place we are shooting. The past two Saturday's - the sky has been bright and gray. It's been drizzling and damp. Not ideal! Then, the following Wednesday night in class - we critique each other's photos on the big screen. We have to pick 5 of our best... or at least 5 of the ones we think are our best.

I thought this would be great for me. I want to learn a lot more about composition and since I've had no formal training yet - it's been interesting.

Here are some of the photos I took last Saturday in Maryville with the comments that were made in class this past Wednesday...

I was told that this photo was framed well and was quite good except for the camera shake. I took a tripod with me on the shoot but didn't use it because one of the brackets broke. I still don't really see the "shake" but I'm not the expert. I think I may need to start wearing those contacts I just got. :)

Too touristy. We are suppose to get out of that mindset of being a tourist or traveler and taking "those kind of pictures". Also, the sky killed it! This needs to be run through Photoshop and work needs to be done on the sky.

There were no negative comments on this photo except that it may have worked better as a black and white... but I liked the pop of the color in the flag.

Most liked the symmetry of this photo but again it was noted that there was camera shake and the sky needed to be Photoshopped.

I had a child run at the ducks so that I could try to get them in flight. Cropping some of the top of this photo was recommended.

Most liked the composition of this except for the SKY!!! Dang that sky!

Today was actually a lot of fun though because I'm getting to know a lot of the other students and we have a good time together, laughing and cutting up and learning from each other.

You better believe that I kept my camera angled OUT OF THE SKY as best I could. I took a lot of photos of flowers in bloom and park scenes and architecture. I'll post the five pictures I pick for Wednesday nights class along with the comments on Thursday or Friday. Posting the comments will help me in looking back.

I'm also taking Fundamentals of Digital Photography with Tom Geisler. That is on Thursday night with two Saturday field trips. One of which is to Cades Cove. *sigh* I may take my bicycle on one of those.

It is funny how many people will ask us what we are doing. Today, Kari and I were walking down Gay Street and every building almost - a security guard came out and asked us what we were doing.

I start a Portrait Photography class in May when the Location Photography class ends. The technical aspects of photography have always made this whooshing noise as they went over my head. I understand computers inside and out. I can do all kinds of technical things with Don around the house, etc... but this has always eluded me. I'm hoping to grasp it move beyond taking snapshots and become a photographer.

It's hectic right now with all that's going on to have this as well... but I think it is also good for me. I'm meeting new and interesting people. I never would have struck out on my own two years ago and done this. Learning is always good especially when it is something you truly enjoy!!

LA :)

What An Emotional Roller Coaster

2008-04-01T19:29:00.004-04:00

Dad had an appointment with a specialist in Charlotte today and that appointment was a huge let down after the great news from yesterday that his cancer had not spread. This doctor is very well respected in treatment of Melanoma but he was quite harsh with the facts... which is not a good way to approach things with my dad.

He told Dad he had a 50/50 chance of beating this if he went with the most aggressive treatment - which includes going back in for additional surgery to remove more of the area around the tumor and removing at least 50 or more lymph nodes.

Then he would do six weeks of radiation and then he would do six weeks of interferon, which is a concentrated form of chemotherapy. The doctor told him that he would become extremely sick during the interferon treatment. He said he was only recommending this to Dad because he is seemingly healthy otherwise - no heart disease, no diabetes, etc... He said at the age of 65 - if he had any medical condition, he would not be strong enough to endure the interferon.

He went on to tell Dad that he wasn't convinced that the cancer has not spread... stating that it could have spread and been so small at this point that the PET scan didn't detect it yet.

I tried to be as upbeat as possible but it's hard because I'm going on this emotional roller coaster with them... great news one minute and the sky is falling the next.

Additionally, Gran's memory continues to worsen daily.

Well, back to taxes. "Someone" decided on April 1st to not file their typical extension - so what normally takes me four+ weeks to do, I have to complete in a matter of days... in addition to the three photography classes that I have at UT right now.

I'm definitely spending Friday morning at the farm after I go to the doctor though. I need some farm fresh air and equine therapy! :)

Please continue to keep my dad in your prayers. Also - me too - that I can be a source of encouragement even though I'm having a hard time staying positive myself.

LA :)

Dad's Cancer Has Not Spread

2008-03-31T11:59:00.003-04:00

I can not even begin to imagine the relief my dad must feel today. He met with the oncologist for the results of the PET scan that he had on Friday and they do not believe that the cancer has spread to any of his organs - WHICH IS SUCH GREAT NEWS!!!!

He will have to have another PET scan in six months to ensure that there wasn't something small that was missed.

He goes to Blumenthal Cancer Center in Charlotte, NC tomorrow to start the clinical trial for the Melanoma. The oncologist told Dad this morning that this particular clinical trial would not be administering any placebos - so he will definitely be receiving treatment.

Things are looking up! This has been a horrible three weeks. I've been so overwhelmed with worry and sadness. Loosing Maggie was so much harder than I ever thought it would be and then to have the worry of Dad's prognosis on top of it... not to mention dealing with Gran.

Dad and I did a conference call to talk with Gran yesterday about 6pm... we talked with her for 15-20 minutes. We talked about him getting the results of his tests today, we talked about Katie, we talked about a number of things. She talked about how it brightened her day that we called.

Then, at 6:30... she called me..."Leeann...(long pause)... I forgot why I called you...(another pause) - oh, have you heard from your dad this weekend?" I reminded her that we had just talked to her ten minutes ago... she didn't remember it... any of it. She swore it didn't happen.

I took her out to dinner with Katie and I on Saturday evening to Outback. When I got her in the car after dinner, I got in the car and started it and she said "Oh Leeann, is this your purse?" No, I had my purse... "Gran, it must be yours"... "No, it's not mine"... so I get out of the car and go to the backseat because I was worried that somehow, she'd picked up the wrong handbag... no, it was the handbag she's carried for years!!

The court hearing for the conservatorship has been postponed until April 16th because there was a conflict with the guardian ad litem.

In any case, at least there was a huge bright spot today! Thank you so much for your prayers, friendship and support.

I'll keep you posted!
LA :)

Happy Easter!

2008-03-23T14:12:00.001-04:00

Dad Update

2008-03-20T17:36:00.003-04:00

My dad went back to the surgical oncologist, Dr. Bebb, this morning. News was slightly better than we'd prepared for but still very serious. The biopsy came back on the three lymph nodes and 2 were benign and 1 was cancerous. The concern is that the lymph node that the cancer spread to apparently is a lymph node that will almost have a starburst type affect with spreading. So now the concern is where else has the cancer spread to....? My dad will have a PET scan done sometime next week to determine if and where.

Dr. Bebb told Dad flat out this morning that he was going to have to fight for his life in the upcoming year. He's going to have radiation, irregardless of whether it has spread anywhere else. He's also going to have to have additional lymph nodes removed amd he may also loose his right ear. I'm still not completely clear on all the details... which is frustrating.

Dr. Bebb has already submitted Dad for a clinical trial in Charlotte that will require them being in Charlotte twice a week for three months. This is also going to be dependent on what the PET scan shows.

Dad and Marilyn are so overwhelmed and they don't ask a lot of questions. I wish I could be there to help out... but I have my hands full with Katie and Gran.

Thank you so much for all your emails, prayers, love and support! Please keep praying for my dad. He didn't handle the news that well but seems to be determined to let it sink in today and start tomorrow with a FIGHT!

Leeann

I'll Miss My Little Maggie

2008-03-18T08:59:00.002-04:00

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable. All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Bad News

2008-03-15T09:54:00.008-04:00

Not 30 minutes after I posted my blog entry yesterday, Marilyn called me sobbing. Apparently, the surgical oncologist had to remove far more from my dad's scalp than he originally was planning. The mapping procedure that they did yesterday morning showed the lymph nodes where the cancer has spread to... and he went in deep to remove those lymph nodes. Dad and Marilyn were under the impression that this mapping procedure would show if the cancer had spread... now Marilyn realizes that the surgeon knew it had spread and this was done to show him exactly where.

He told Marilyn that my dad is going to have his back up against in a wall in making a decision on whether to procede with a clinical trial (one specifically in Houston, TX) or take a more traditional approach but the reality and that statistics are shocking and I'm reeling, trying to come to terms with what is happening.

I had not taken all of this very seriously until yesterday, as there is someone in my life that is 80 years old who was recently diagnosed (16 months ago) with Stage 4 melanoma and it had not spread to his lymph nodes, he had the tumor removed and is now cancer free and has a good prognosis. Now, I'm wandering if in fact he did have Stage 4 melanoma after all - because after doing some reading yesterday and today - you are only given the diagnosis of Stage 4 when it has indeed spread.

The surgeon yesterday really gave Marilyn a grim prognosis yesterday. The lymph nodes still have to be officially biopsied and those results should be back on Monday because he put a rush on it; however, he told Marilyn that he's been doing this many years and that she needed to be prepared for the worst.

These are the statistics for Stage 4 Melanoma when it has spread to the lymph nodes:

The five year survival rate is 14%.
The average survival time frame is 13 months.
The survival rate with the average clinical trial for Stage 4 Melanoma is 5%.

Please keep my dad in your thoughts and prayers.

LA

Wake Me When It's Finally Spring

2008-03-14T13:29:00.004-04:00

*sigh* I know my friends and family are tired of hearing me complain about wanting spring to be here... but seriously!!!

We actually had a nice spring like day both Wednesday and Thursday but I didn't see the outside of the house because Katie is sick. She has croup. Yuck! She's been puny and hasn't felt good at all since late Tuesday night. She missed school Wed, Thur and today! Now, she is on spring break until March 25th. Surely we will have some nice weather to do some nice things outside in the coming week.

My dad is having surgery right now. Marilyn called to say that the scan they did pre-opt for any additional signs of cancer came back negative. His biopsy(s) on the other places they removed and his lymph nodes came back benign. He is so blessed and lucky to have had stage 4 melanoma and all the other places and everything to have come back negative. I'm so relieved and I could hear the relief in her voice!!

I'll be looking goofy in the coming years wearing hats, sunscreen and being pale. I will no longer be lounging in the sun. I've always liked getting a little golden tint to my skin and I love relaxing by the pool or the ocean in the warmth of the sun reading a book... no more! It's just not worth it. Maybe I'll try those bronzers...?

I also have the court date set for the legal stuff with my grandmother. It is Wednesday, April 2nd.

When is Disney!? I'm so ready!!! May 6th!!! Can't believe Katie will be turning 9. It's her last year in the single digits!

It Helps If You Were Married To A Redneck!

2008-03-11T09:55:00.007-04:00

Don and I spent a very fun evening with Lisa and Rick Saturday night while Katie was at vision camp. We went out for a nice dinner and then spent the rest of the evening playing games and laughing so hard!! We played Battle of the Sexes. How fun!! Of course, we played girls against the guys! I don't even think I remember who won - we had so much fun!

So many of the dog gone questions directed at the girls were fishing related questions. It was hilarious how much Lisa knew about fishing!! She said numerous times "It helps if you were married to a redneck"... since her first husband was a big fisherman.

On the flip side of things - it was a little scary how much Don knew about the women's questions. Rick did well but Don knew just a little too much...we kept teasing him telling him he was a "metro sexual".

Katie did well at vision camp and can't wait for next year. Her counselor from last year, Amy was there and remembered Katie the minute we walked in the door. All the counselors are UT students and her major was political science until she did vision camp last year and then she made a BIG change to therapeutic recreation. So this year, she was back in a leadership role.

Katie's counselor this year, Amanda is already in therapeutic rec for her major and her and Katie got along great!! Katie got to ride horses (which she never gets to do and was so excited ;)) She got to do a zip line, lots of arts and crafts. They had a dance on Saturday night and Katie was a Cheetah Girl and Amanda dressed up like a rock and roll roadie and was her manager!

Don and I had a date Friday night just the two of us. We went to see Vantage Point - which has gotten terrible reviews but we were entertained. LOL... it doesn't take much these days. Then we had a nice dinner out. It was really nice - that is twice in five weeks that we've had some time as just a couple overnight knowing that Katie was happy and well taken care of. She spent two nights with Mom and MomMom back in February.

On a less happy note - I continue to struggle with my weight loss plateau. I actually gained a pound and a half. I'm reading Valerie Bertinelli's book "Losing It". I almost read the entire book yesterday. I talked with my RN practitioner who has been so supportive of my weight loss and helped a lot with my pre-surgical approval. She is very encouraging talking about how substantially better my health is now than it was even a year ago. But, I'm still noticing a tenancy to have an emotional connection to food - and I really see it now reading VB's book.

I definitely have a bruised rib and I'm really sore. I can't laugh without it hurting. Coughing, sneezing, pulling up jeans, rolling over in my sleep, bending over, etc send me into orbit. *sigh* Apparently it takes 3-4 weeks for it to heal so that's not very encouraging. It's starting to be very spring like and I'm so ready to hit the outdoors!!

Maggie continues not to do well at all. She's barely eating and continuing to get sick. We are still working with Dr. Cheadle to try and find a resolution or to at least make Maggie as comfortable as possible.

Dad gets the results today on the biopsy on his lymph nodes. Please keep him in your thoughts and prayers. I talked with Marilyn last night and she did confirm that he has Stage 4 Melanoma. His lymph nodes were very swollen last week when they did the biopsy. He's scheduled for surgery this Friday - the 14th but that may change based on the results today. If the results today aren't good - a new course is going to be plotted. My dad is healthy in every other respect so hopefully - even if the news isn't good - he will be a strong fighter and things will go well.

Happy Springlike Tuesday!!
LA :)

So Happy To Be Spending Time On The Farm Again

2008-03-05T20:58:00.003-05:00

Monday, it was a very breezy spring like day and Don and I went to the farm and spent several hours with Sunny and Belle. It was great!! So happy to be spending time out there again other than mucking Belle's stall.

I took my camera on Monday and while Don ran Sunny and Belle for exercise I snapped away! I came home with 800+ pictures... so I tried to extract 50 or so of the best ones in this slide show to one of my favorite songs by Natasha Bedingfield.

I made another pretty stupid mistake and got hurt a little bit - no head injury this time. Just another reminder that Sunny and Belle aren't "pets" - they are 1200 pound unpredictable creatures.

I haven't ridden Belle since November. I've spent a lot of time with her and she is doing great! She's definitely my horse - she can be WAY out in the pasture and when I pull up to the barn - she starts heading in!

Katie is still doing great at STAR! They've really been doing a lot with her and her balance and working with her looking directly at the person that is talking to her. This has carried over and even helped some in school.

Katie has started gymnastics again. My friend S has two daughters that are in the same class with Katie! The gymnastics teacher is wonderful and she's great with Katie! I'm so glad that I found out about it through S... plus - she and I get to hang out while the girls are doing their thing. I discovered today that it's the fastest hour of my week... we are like teenagers... giggling and cutting up! So glad she is my friend!

I am trying to start taking my camera every where I go - literally. I'm working on building my portfolio and I'm currently working on my website. I have three more classes at UT this spring - not all at once but it will be busy!

Also, I am going to Huntsville, AL in a few weeks. My friend, Court, found this awesome photographer - actually it's a husband and wife team - like what Don and I hope to eventually do... they joined forces and have a studio. He's a videographer and editor and she's a photographer. Every other month, they have a small conference for new photographers and they mentor the photog's to help them get going... as long as they live far enough away to not be competition... :)

It's FREE! Isn't that crazy? This lady - Heather Bookout - feels like she's been blessed and wants to give back! I'm always wanting to learn - she seems very talented and you can't beat FREE!

More later!
LA :)

Does This Clutter Make My Butt Look Fat?

2008-03-04T16:41:00.002-05:00

Apparently, this is a book that has recently been released by Peter Walsh. I tivo'd him on Oprah like two weeks ago and had been procrastinating on watching it because I've been so blue about how cluttered our home has become and I've also been blue about my weight loss stalling...

So, this past weekend... Don and I got our butts in gear and decluttered - ALOT! We gave our way too large kitchen table and large leather living room sofa to Knox Rescue Ministries - which they were very pleased to get. We now just have two nice leather chairs with ottomans in our living room with two slim pottery barn style chairs and it is so much more open and spacious. We got a small round table for the kitchen which also made a big difference.

We also cleaned out our laundry room, the family room and our bedroom closets... we had a TON of things in our carport Monday morning for Habitat for Humanity to pick up. We got rid of that video storage cube that was so huge in the family room and now we have room for our exercise equipment to not be folded up...

So, now I feel less cluttered and ready to watch this show and get re-motivated on my weight loss! *sigh*

It's time to start picking out spring clothes! I want to be in a size 12 when I am shopping...

Eventually, I want to be in an 8... but I've learned to set my short term goals and shoot for them instead of looking at the end goal.

More later!
LA :)

Sometimes A Kind Gesture From A Friend...

2008-02-26T11:35:00.004-05:00

...can make everything seem okay again! :) My best friend Lisa did the kindest thing for me. Our trip to North Carolina prevented me from taking a class with her that I really wanted to take. It was making a beautiful actylic album and I was going to use it to document my weight loss journey - even though I am stuck right now... *sigh*!

Anyway, she went on and did the class even though I couldn't and she made the album for me! And it's beautiful!!

I'll post a picture here when I put my pictures and journaling in but here is a picture of what the album looks like!

Lisa, it really meant a lot to me! You are the best!!

No Good News!

2008-02-24T09:58:00.006-05:00

This week hasn't been the best of weeks.

We did have a great trip to North Carolina last weekend. But, I got a bad cold on the trip and have had a hard time shaking it. We sort of celebrated MomMom's 85th birthday early. Don, Katie and I went in together with Mom and got MomMom a 42" LCD TV for the living room. Her eyesight has continued to deteriorate and she's had an increasingly hard time watching their old 26" TV in the living room. MomMom enjoys politics so much - we wanted to go ahead and give it to her early so she could be enjoying the debates and stuff now. It really seemed to make her happy.

When she first realized what we had done, she started crying and Katie threw her arms around her to tell her it was okay!

We even had a major milestone on this trip. Katie spent the night with Mom and MomMom two nights!! She had a lot of fun, they enjoyed it so much and Don and I got to have some time together!! That was great!!

We got to have a great visit with Uncle Ronnie and Aunt Linda too! It just makes me miss Kim, Sarah and Jacob so much when we visit. I'll be glad to see them this summer!!! It's really been hard on Aunt Linda for them to be so far away!

Well, now to the bad news!

We have gotten partial results back from Katie's MRI. We are waiting now to be referred to a neurologist. It's nothing we weren't expecting but still not the best of news!

Then, my dad went to go have a growth removed from his scalp on Wednesday. This had been a scheduled procedure for almost two months. When the doctor saw it, he was concerned because it had changed drastically. They biopsied it and it came back melanoma. They sent Dad to a surgeon on Thursday who removed several other places from Dad's upper body and they've scheduled surgery for March 14th. I'm pretty concerned about him.

Then, we took Maggie to the vet on Friday. She's lost a dramatic amount of weight the past couple of weeks and she's been getting sick a lot. Turns out she has a growth on her mediastenum. They've sent it to UT to find out more. Maggie weighed 10 pounds in the fall and now weighs 6.4 - that's pretty dramatic weight loss.

Maggie is 14 so she is old but she's my little Maggie Doodles! She's such a part of of our family!!

The vet gave us medicine to try to help her getting sick and it has helped. We are fixing her food with rice and cream of wheat to make it more palatable and that seems to have helped.

I'm so ready for spring! I'm so ready for some happy days!

LA :)

Which Austin Heroine Are You?

2008-02-21T15:45:00.002-05:00

Take the Quiz here!

The results of the quiz I took stated the following:
You are Emma Woodhouse of Emma! You like being the queen of your social circle (small and provincial as it may be), and feel it's your duty to help those less influential than you. You often meddle in the affairs of others, though you do it with a pure heart. You are often deluded in your flights of fancy, but your good intentions and creative spirit make you someone anyone could like.

I don't know how accurate that is at all...lol!

Let me know which Austin heroine you are!

LA :)

In The Spirit Of Valentines Day

2008-02-14T23:46:00.002-05:00

I definitely am with my soulmate but this is a fun little quiz...

Take the Quiz